Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time

Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time (originally known as Sly Cooper: Time Bandits; also known as Sly Cooper: Thieves Through Time in France and Sly Cooper: Chasing Time in Germany; previously under the title as Sly 4(?)) is the 4th title of the Sly Cooper series of platform stealth video games. It's for the PS3 and the Vita, and an 8-year sequel to Honor Among Thieves.

Cooper Gang

Sly Cooper

The name's Sly. Sly Cooper.
Find a poster, make it look goofy, and move on. Just like junior high. [begins to deface Toothpick's posters]
Not for sale. It's Puny Greenhorn.
Wow, I bet the original artist damaged his vision staring at this guy. [defaces one of Tootpick's posters]
If I was as homely as this guy, I would not hang my picture everywhere.
I wish I could tear 'em down. Here's... Weakling of the West.
I don't think vain begins to describe this guy. [defaces one of Tootpick's posters]
It's an improvement. I'll name this one... The Homely Buckaroo.
What kind of sheriff puts up posters of himself? [defaces one of Tootpick's posters]
I love a challenge. I call it... 10 Star Loser.
This guy's a real egomaniac. [defaces one of Tootpick's posters]

Rioichi

Tennessee

"Bob"

Galleth

Salim

Bentley

Murray

Carmelita Fox

[to Sly as he was about to steal a dagger from the museum] You didn't really think you were going to get away with it, did you, ringtail?
As much as I like the idea of Sly in a cell, nobody kidnaps Inspector Carmelita Fox and gets away with it! [motioning to Toothpick, who kidnapped her earlier]
How about less sweet talk and more action?

Toothpick

[after Sly activates the train whistles to blow into Toothpick's ears] YEEOOWWCH!! That hurts my ears! WHO TURNED ON THEM BLASTED WHISTLES?!? [grows large in size]

Le Paradox

Grizz

Dialogue

Paris Prologue: I Smell a Rat

Sly [narrating]: I should probably just start at the beginning. The name's Sly. Sly Cooper, and I'm a thief... from a long line of thieves. In fact, thieving is the family business, and business was good. Although until recently, I consider myself retired. Having hung up my mask and cane, I was enjoying life on the other side of the law... in the company of a certain lovely INTERPOL agent named... Carmelita Fox. She and I had a history which generally involved her trying to lock me up. So, I should mention our current situation was only possible because she thought I had amnesia. I didn't. It was great to finally enjoy each other's company without a Shock Pistol being involved, and we quickly put the past behind us, but as time went on, the old itch came back and I knew that I needed to pull a heist. I should also mention that as a master thief, I only steal from other thieves. So it took me a while, but I finally found what I was looking for. My target was an upstart art mogul, a real hotshot collector. He seemed respectable and even opened a new museum, but I could smell a rat. Reliable sources told me that he was dealing in black market antiques worth millions. So I felt he should share the wealth. I was working on a plan when one night, as if on cue, Bentley showed up. Bentley was the brains of our operation, the mastermind. We grew up in the same orphanage where we bonded over stealing cookies, our very first heist, and we've been best friends and partners ever since. We haven't seen each other for a while, but I knew immediately that something was up.

Sly [narrating]: Bentley had been enjoying his time off too, building a new lab from scratch with his girlfriend and fellow tech wiz, Penelope. [Penelope chuckles] She'd join the team on our last caper and the two of them had really hit it off. Apparently, they just finished work on a top-secret project when Penelope had simply vanished. Bentley was worried sick. He searched frantically, but found nothing. Then, he noticed something that completely stunned him. In his spare time, Bentley had been researching the Thievius Raccoonus - the master thieves handbook passed down through the Cooper family for generations. Its pages overflowing with the exploits and secret techniques of my esteemed ancestors. Only now, those pages weren't so full. In fact, they were disappearing right before Bentley's eyes. Realizing there was no time to waste, he gathered his gear and raced off to Paris.

Sly [narrating]: The first thing Bentley did was track down Murray, the third in our trio. Murray was our enforcer, the muscle… and the guy who'd eaten all the cookies we stole back in our orphanage days. Through the years, the 3 of us had become an unbeatable team, and we were more like a family now than a gang. Murray had been living his dream on the pro driving circuit, where his van had become famous… or rather infamous for all the crashes he'd caused. Eventually, he was unable to find a sponsor due to his high insurance premiums, and he moved into demolition derby, where he remained undefeated. When Bentley showed up, however, Murray dropped everything to help out. Especially when Bentley explained that his van was the key to the whole plan. With Carmelita distracted by a new assignment, I took the opportunity to slip away and met up with the guys at our old Paris hideout. Bentley launched into one of his elaborate presentations and I saw the whole scary picture. Someone or something was literally erasing Cooper history. Then, to our amazement, Bentley revealed that he already had the solution - time travel. It turns out his top-secret project was constructing a time machine, and now he modified the design to fit into Murray's van. We were going to travel back in time, stop those responsible, and fix the damage they'd done. Bentley explained the only catch was that in order to travel to a particular time, the machine required an object from that era. We knew from the changes to the Thievius Raccoonus that our first stop was Feudal, Japan. So here we were, about to steal a priceless 17th-century samurai dagger from the same museum I've been casing. Funny how things work out sometimes.

Bentley: Okay, you both remember the plan, right?

Murray: Of course! My mind is like a steel cap!

Sly: Uh, that's "trap", big guy. And everybody relax! We've been over it a million times. What could possibly go wrong?

Bentley: Famous last words! Look, we're only gonna get one shot at this, so we can't mess up!

Sly: Alright, no messing up allowed. Now stop worrying! This is going to be a piece of cake. I'll see you both inside. Now let's get going!

Sly: Hey, Bentley, was truck-surfing part of Murray's entrance strategy?

Bentley: Of course not. Murray's supposed to enter through the back alleyway. Why'd you ask?

Sly: Uh… no reason. Anyway, it's looks like he's in passion now.

Sly [whistling as he unlocks the skylight, then opens it to see the dagger in the room below] Okay, Bentley. I'm in place. Let me know when you shut down the security system.

Bentley: [makes his move in the sewers] Patience, Sly. You can't rush greatness, and I'm about to code a hacking masterpiece! Interesting, the last time I was in these sewers, I was just a teenager.

[Sly is about to steal the dagger but is confronted by a very miffed Carmelita.]

Sly: What the-?

Carmelita: You didn't really think you were going to get away with it, did you, Ringtail?

Sly: Hey, Carmelita! Funny meeting you here.

Carmelita: Sly Cooper, you no-good, lying thief! I'm locking you up for good!

Sly: Sorry, gotta take a raincheck. I'll call you!

Carmelita: [After failing to stop Sly] COOPER!!!

Sly: Good evening, this is Sly Cooper. I'd like to request a ride.

Bentley: Cute, Sly. Now, quit messing around and get down here! We're in the van and ready to roll!

Sly: Au revoir!

Sly [narrating]: Well, what else can I say about Carmelita? As you can see, our relationship is... complicated, and I just succeeded in upgrading it to hazardous. I certainly wasn't expecting her to crash the party. She'd been so busy with her latest case, I'd never thought she had her eye on me. In fact, I'd kinda been counting on it… but then, I should've known better than to underestimate Inspector Carmelita Fox. As much as she'd like having fun, Carmelita was serious about her police work… and now, I had a lot of explaining to do, but the plan was in motion, and there was no stopping now, even though I was thinking I'd need the time machine to patch things up with Carmelita. Before the heist, we'd recruited our disco-loving scuba-diving friend Dimitri Lousteau to look after the Thievius Raccoonus. Because it was irreplaceable and the only guide we had, it was far too risky to take the book through time with us. Bentley had even invented a communication device to allow us to contact Dimitri no matter where or when we travel. It was a perfect situation since it allowed him to update us on any changes to the book while eliminating our exposure to his... fashion critiques. Everything was happening so fast. The past few days were just a blur, but as we howled through the time vortex, I realized we were in for a very long trip.

Turning Japanese

Sly [narrating]: We needed to locate Rioichi Cooper - master ninja and master chef. According to the Cooper Clan history, Rioichi Cooper was actually the inventor of sushi. After creating this delectable dish, he opened a sushi restaurant, which while very prosperous, also provided a perfect cover for a ninja. When we got to Japan, it was obvious something was very wrong. What should've been a peaceful village, was more like a heavily patrolled military base. We located Rioichi's sushi restaurant, only to find it shut down and under guard. Things got worse when Bentley discovered that Rioichi was locked up in a new high security jail, allegedly for serving bad sushi to the shogun. It all sounded like a pretty tough piece of fish to swallow. We needed to get to the bottom of the situation, and the first order of business was getting Rioichi out of prison.

Bentley: Okay, Sly. We need to break Rioichi out of jail. I have some ideas, but you know the drill - I need you to do some recon for me.

Sly: Camera work?

Bentley: Correct-a-mundo, mon ami. I need some shots of the Prison entrance and the Samurai Armor those big guards are wearing. You should also grab some shots of Rioichi's restaurant. We may need those for later. Capisce?

Sly: Uh, yeah. I got you, pal, but maybe we should just stick with English?

Bentley: Sayonara, Cooper-san.

Sly [narrating]: After rescuing Rioichi, we returned to the hideout. Unfortunately, there wasn't much time for "family reunions". We needed to figure out what was going on and fast. Rioichi confirmed that the source of the trouble was the tiger we tracked in the village, someone calling himself El Jefe. After some more database digging, Bentley was able to uncover his INTERPOL file. El Jefe had an impressive record. Over the years, he had taken over dozens of small countries around the globe. Usually, for the highest bidder. He was a ruthless mercenary and military strategist of the highest order. In fact, he once boasted that he could overthrow a country commanding only 3 blind mice... armed with plastic spoons. According to his file, this guy had mysteriously vanished a while back just as the authorities were closing in. Well, we had found him and we needed to take him down. It looked like we were in for a tough battle, so we decided to start with Rioichi's Sushi Shop.

Bentley: Okay, Sly, it's time for Rioichi to reclaim his sushi restaurant. It looks like the front door is the only entrance. We need to get rid of that guard if we're going to get Rioichi inside. However, security is on high alert since we broke him out of jail and we can't risk raising an alarm. I think this one is going to require some... misdirection.

Sly: What do you mean?

Bentley: I bet if you wore that Samurai armor you stole, you'd be able to "relieve" that guard at the front door.

Sly: Right... plus I just look good in armor.

Bentley: Puh-lease...

El Jefe: [approaches the guard at the sushi restaurant] No one gets in or out, understand?! I don't want any more problems!

Bentley: Okay, Rioichi, I guess I don't need to tell you about your own place. Quite ingenious of you to use your sushi knives as door keys, by the way.

Rioichi: Bentley-san, I am a ninja master.

Bentley: Right, uh... my bad. Anyway, my scan reveals your sushi knives are still here. The bad news is the guards definitely have them. There are also some security traps you've definitely never seen before.

Rioichi: Bentley-san, though the bamboo forest is dense, water flows through it without effort.

Bentley: Umm, yeah. Just be careful not to alert the guards. Now get those knives and take your restaurant back!

Bentley: Alright, we have all the Intel we need. El Jefe has played dictator for the last time, and it's time to bring him down. First, we need to open those dragon gates. Thanks to Rioichi's special sushi rolls, the guards are out for the count. Sly, you'll need to gain access to the switches in their mouths. Next, we'll need to open the palace sword gate. However, the bridge is crawling with guards, so we'll need to create a diversion. Murray, you, Sly and myself will need to distract the guards. Once they're occupied, Rioichi can make his way under the bridge to the switch and open the gate. Once we get that gate open, there's nothing stopping us from taking the palace and putting El Jefe in his place. Viva la revolución!

[The Cooper Gang heads over to the bridge where El Jefe is waiting for them.]

El Jefe: [laughs] End of the line, Cooper! [smokes his cigar] Get them, you fools!

[The gate closes as a bunch of rat troopers appear to fight.]

Bentley: Okay, you all know what to do... time to kick some butt!

Murray: My favorite time of the day!

[Rioichi rushes over to the side of the bridge as he salutes the gang and goes under. Sly smiles at this.]

Sly: Let's do this!

[Sly and the gang fight the guards, while Rioichi makes his way to the rollers underneath the bridge to open the door. They proceed through the door, then El Jefe pounces on Rioichi.]

El Jefe: Ha! It's mine! [takes Rioichi's cane and throws him back]

Rioichi Cooper: My cane!

El Jefe: [pulls out his knives and destroys the bridge] Sorry, Cooper. You lose! I need to deliver this puny stick to a new owner! [heads towards his statue]

Bentley: No! El Jefe's getting away!

Sly: Don't worry, Rioichi. Watch after these two. I'm gonna kick some tiger tail and get your cane back!

El Jefe: [laughs] Hey Cooper, what do you think of my statue?

Sly: Hah! Looks like a real pigeon magnet.

El Jefe: [whacks the pigeon] Bah! I hope you can fly like a pigeon, Cooper. Otherwise, you'll never catch me! [leaps onto a rope and cuts it, allowing him to rise upwards towards his fortress]

Sly: We'll see about that! [heads after him and climbs high up where he spots the giant statue]

El Jefe: A magnificent likeness isn't it, Cooper? Almost as handsome as the real thing!

Sly: Huh. Yeah, Looks almost big enough to contain your over-inflated ego.

El Jefe: Take a nice, long look. I want you to remember the one who crushed you!

Sly: Looks to me like you've got nowhere left to run, El Jefe. Ready to face me now?

El Jefe: [chuckles] Sticking up for the family, eh Cooper? Too bad you'll never see any of them again! [laughs] Oh Cooper, you've climbed so high and now… you're gonna fall!

El Jefe: You know something, Cooper? You're actually starting to annoy me.

Sly: Oh, don't worry. I have that effect on all cowardly crime lords. [El Jefe growls] "El Jefe." Hmm, isn't that Spanish for "big baby"?

El Jefe: Bah! Enough of these stupid games!

Sly [narrating]: El Jefe was defeated, disgraced, and delivered to the cops. But it was a hollow victory. I failed to get back Rioichi's cane, and we still had no idea who was really behind this whole thing. One thing was for sure, it was somebody powerful enough to have his own private army. We contacted Dimitri for an update on the Thievius Raccoonus, and it looked like "Tennessee Kid" Cooper needed our help next. That meant we needed to travel back to the 1880s. Luckily, one of the goons that took Rioichi's cane had dropped what looked like an old sheriff's badge. Bentley had been trying to figure out where it might be from, but now, it all made sense. After sampling the badge, Bentley was able to calibrate the time machine. As we prepared to make the jump back to the Old West, I found myself wondering how Carmelita was doing.

Go West Young Raccoon

Sly [narrating]: We arrived in the Wild West looking for my ancestor - "Tennessee Kid" Cooper, a legendary outlaw whose bank robberies were some of the most daring in Cooper lore. When we arrived, it took some time to locate him, but we eventually found him... in prison. His arrest was the handiwork of the local sheriff who had celebrated by posting his own picture all over town. Talk about an ego. We needed to bust Tennessee out of jail… but after some furious calculation, Bentley determined that the best way to do that... was from the inside. For the first time in my career, I was gonna have to let the law catch me. This could be a real challenge.

Bentley: Sly, they're already rigging a noose for Tennessee, so we don't have time for a complicated plan. All my data points to one thing - The quickest route inside that prison is to get yourself arrested!

Sly: Get myself arrested? I trust you, Bentley, but I'm not sure about getting locked up in this town.

Bentley: Sorry, Sly. It's the only way we're going to reach Tennessee in time. There's just one problem - they're holding Kid Cooper in the Maximum security wing. To get yourself thrown in there, you're going to have to gain "outlaw" status, so you need to make sure you build a rep before they catch you! Otherwise, they'll throw you in with the common criminals.

Sly: Ugh. You mean like, jaywalkers and litterbugs? Not gonna happen.

Bentley: Well, around these parts it's probably more like goat thieves and tobacco spitters, but you get the point. For starters, why don't you try defacing all of those posters of the sheriff around town? That oughta put a "burr" under his saddle. Get it... because we're in the Old West...? Anyway, I'll just let you get started.

Bentley: [chuckles] We definitely got under his skin, Sly. You ready for phase 2?

Sly: Absolutely!

Bentley: Apparently, the sheriff also loves lollipops, but his favorite is a particular Cuban variety which has to be shipped in specially. Supposedly they taste like rice and beans.

Sly: [groans in disgust] Gross!

Bentley: Agreed, but if we clean him out, he'll have to wait weeks for the next shipment, and that should really tick him off!

Sly: [steals Toothpick's lollipop] Hmmm. I bet Murray would like that lollipop.

Bentley: Great job. You just became a criminal, Sly.

Bentley: Alright, this is going perfectly! You'll be locked up in no time!

Sly: You know, you're a little too excited about sending me to the slammer, Bentley.

Bentley: It's all about the job, Sly. Speaking of which, in case you hadn't noticed, this Sheriff Toothpick is his own biggest fan! In fact, it looks like he's throwing himself a festival and it's in full swing! If you take that banner down, I'm sure it'll be the final straw!

Sly: Right. Let's go rain on this guy's parade. Okay, I just need to get up to that banner. I can't believe this guy has an appreciation festival for himself. Of all the things to get busted for, I can't believe it's banner dumping. Okay, there's the banner. I just need to knock those clothespins off.

[Sly knocks all the clothespins causing the banner to fall down. Just then, Toothpick and his guards arrive.]

Toothpick: Hold your fires, boys! That there is the scribblin', lolly-thievin' outlaw I been looking for!

[Sly jumps down]

Toothpick: Ah. Well, amigo, you just booked yourself a permanent room in the stony lonesome!

Sly: Um Howdy...

"Tennessee Kid" Cooper: Howdy yourself. Looks like you must've ticked ol' Toothpick off pretty good. I like that. You got a name?

Sly: It's Sly. Sly Cooper.

Tennessee: [offended] Now, Son, you should know I don't take kindly to folks funnin' on my family name.

Sly: Whoa whoa whoa. I swear I'm not joking. I can explain...

Tennessee: Talk ain't worth spit, boy! Only one way to prove you're a Cooper - Bust us outta here!

Sly: Right. My friend Bentley is working on that... I hope.

Bentley: Sly, you're gonna need Tennessee to carry the TNT to blow the perimeter wall. Needless to say, you'll want to make sure he steers clear of things like fire or bullets.

Sly: Naturally. Thanks, Bentley.

Tennessee: Son, who is it you keep talking to?

Sly: Uh, I have a thing in my ear that lets me talk to my friend, and now he's telling me you need to carry some of that TNT, so we can blow the gate.

Tennessee: Sure. I got voices in my head telling me to blow things up, too. Eh, they've been right so far. Let's get to it. [carries the TNT barrel]

Bentley: Sly, it appears that archway in front of the door is some kind of locking mechanism, and that block is the key. Now you just need to figure out how to get it in there.

Sly: So, tell me about Sheriff Toothpick.

Tennessee: Toothpick!? That shady son of a gun is crookeder than a sack o' corkscrews. Plus, he framed me for that bank job and took the gold himself! I just know it.

Tennessee: Haha. I just wanna say, I knew you was a Cooper the second I laid eyes on you.

Sly: Thanks. But, Tennessee, We need to go! You ready?

Tennessee: Well… eh, not really. Whoa! [screams] Haha! Yee Haw! Whoo hoo!

Sly [narrating]: Somehow, we had managed to survive and make it back to the hideout. Once there, Tennessee gave us the lowdown. How he had been planning the bank heist that should've gone down in Cooper lore as his masterpiece, only to have a mysterious new sheriff arrest him before he even reached the bank. Curiously, the robbery still occurred and the bank's gold was stolen. Tennessee was charged even though he was already in prison, and the gold was never recovered. Of course, he had a strong suspicion it was Sheriff Toothpick himself that has stolen the gold and framed him, and after a little research, there was no doubt he was right. Bentley was able to uncover plenty of information about the "Sheriff". Although he change his appearance somewhat, Toothpick was a 2-bit gangster from present day Eastern Europe. According to his file, he'd grown up loving 2 things - gold and cowboy movies. He eventually specialized in gold robberies, and for a while, had masterminded some of the largest scores around the world, then he abruptly vanished. The word was he had always thought of himself as a gunslinger and it looked like he had found a way to make that a reality. The guy was a real loose cannon. We'd have to watch our backs if we were gonna steal back the missing gold and restore "Tennessee Kid" Cooper's reputation as the greatest outlaw of the Old West.

Bentley: Okay, the first order of business is getting Tennessee his guns back.

Tennessee: Well, it's just the one gun now. I upgrade it, but yeah. I need my shooting iron back.

Bentley: Agreed. According to my sources, Toothpick closed this old gold mine several months ago declaring it "unsafe". In fact, he's converted it to a storage facility for his stolen goods, including Tennessee's gun. We'll need to take measures with this job so as not to arouse suspicion. So by employing a masterful disguise, I'll tail Toothpick to the mine's entrance and mark it with a homing beacon. Murray, you'll then use the beacon to find your way there. Toothpick's sure to have secure the entrance so we'll need your... formidable skills to get it open. Then once we have access, Tennessee can get in and get his gun back. Let's get to work!

Bentley: Toothpick's office is somewhere in the upper levels of the saloon. To find out what he's planning, our best bet is to plant a bug. Needless to say, we must remain undetected. Conveniently, I discovered they're looking for a new bartender, so I'll go in - undercover - and control the situation by introducing the patrons to my special home-brewed sarsaparilla.

Sly: Your mustache looks... bigger. What have you been feeding it?

Bentley: Pay attention, Sly. You'll need to enter through that window and make your way to the ventilation system. Meanwhile, I'll have the goons inside so sugared up, they'll be seeing double until they crash... hard. Once you launch the RC Car in the vents, I'll take control and guide it to Toothpick's office.

Sly: You're not going to start wearing that mustache all the time, are you?

Bentley: Jealously is such an ugly emotion, Sly.

Toothpick: Alright, listen up! My pardner's got an ace up his sleeve, and we're about to go all in! This trump card's going to crush Cooper and the rest of his claim-jumping gang! We is going to learn 'em you don't yank a rattlesnake's tail less't yer lookin' to get bit! Har har! Then, we are going to finish loading up the train and haul our sweet, little keisters outta this one-horse town! Once we get that loot back into present day, I, Toothpick, going to be worth millions! [accidentally shoots one of his guards] Eh... Ooopsie.

Guard: Dangit, boss! Would ya watch where you're pointin' that thing?

Toothpick: [becomes enraged] Are you talkin' to me?!

Guard: Whoa, boss, whoa!! I'm sorry! I didn't mean nuthin'!

Tennessee: Hmm, that's not good - looks like Toothpick rustled himself a pretty lady!

Bentley: Sweet jumping jackrabbits! That's no lady, that's Carmelita! What is she doing here?

Tennessee: [surprised] You know her?

Bentley: I'm afraid so! Something is very wrong here, Tennessee, but all quantum physics aside, we have to rescue her! Nobody can get there faster than you! I'll grab Sly and Murray, and we'll meet you with the van. Just get going!

Carmelita: Who are you?!

Tennessee: Pleased to meet you, ma'am! Why, I'm Tennessee Kid-

Carmelita: Don't tell me. You're a Cooper, right? I knew it!

Tennessee: Yes, ma'am! Bentley told me you-

Carmelita: Stop calling me ma'am! The name's inspector Fox. [realizes] Wait, Bentley is here?!

Tennessee: Well, looks like they're right behind us!

Sly: Carmelita! I'm glad you're okay.

Carmelita: Why, that conniving little-!

Carmelita: As much as I like the idea of Sly in a cell, nobody kidnaps Inspector Carmelita Fox and gets away with it!

Tennessee: I reckon that also includes tying her to a runaway stage?

Carmelita: Watch it! I'm in no mood for smart remarks. Now, are you ready for another mission, Tennessee?

Tennessee: Yes, ma'am! Oh, I mean... I surely am, Inspector Fox!

Tennessee: This river is dangerous, but it leads back to the prison. Way I figure it, they won't be expecting us to come this way! Are you sure you're up to this, Miss Fox?

Carmelita: Uh, that's Inspector Fox... but just call me Carmelita. Thanks for the rescue, by the way.

Tennessee: My pleasure. "Inspector"? You some kind of sheriff? How'd you get mixed up with Sly?

Carmelita: It's a long, complicated story. Right now, I need to rescue that ringtail... so I can ring his neck! [quenches her fist]

Tennessee: Hoo wee! You are feisty. You remind me of this one little gal who–

Carmelita: So, what's this prison like, anyway?

Tennessee: Uh... well, plenty of fire, for starters.

Carmelita: Terrific! Let's get going.

[After the Cooper gang are released from their cage, Carmelita enters the presidio. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees Sly.]

Sly: Carmelita! Are you alright?!

Carmelita: I am... no thanks to you! I should leave you in that cage after what you pulled, Sly Cooper.

Sly: I know. Look, I can explain everything...

Carmelita: Why, if it wasn't for this handsome and charming gentleman, I wouldn't even be here! [she leans on Tennessee's shoulder flirtatiously]

Tennessee: [flattered] Oh, shucks.

Sly: "Handsome and charming"? Really? Look, Carmelita, I know- [Carmelita cuts him off]

Carmelita: [aims her pistol at Sly] Save it, Sly! All I want to know right now is how I get back to Paris!

Bentley: Actually, Carmelita, I was more curious how you got here in the first place...

Murray: But, guys, where's the van? (Where is it?!)

Bentley: [to Murray] We'll have to track it down later, Murray. [to Carmelita] Now, what were you saying, Carmelita?

Carmelita: It's a long story, Bentley. Let's get moving and I'll tell you.

Carmelita [narrating]: When I saw that arrogant little... that no-good lying... OOF! I should have tied his mangy tail around his neck! I should have blasted that smug look right off his face! I... I, I… [sigh] I should probably just finish my story. After the Cooper Gang escaped at the museum, I decided to follow my nose and take a look around. I've been investigating the trading of stolen antiquities on the black market, but I never guessed that two-faced ringtail was involved. Then, as I turned a corner, I was stunned to see a huge stash of stolen treasure right there in the museum! And even more shocking, Cyrille Le Paradox himself unloading them! I couldn't believe it! The billionaire art collector and museum patron was behind this? I was so surprised that by the time I reacted, his goons already had me covered. Then, that slimy sawed-off runt had me thrown into some vile machine, and the next thing I knew, I was playing cowboys and criminals. The Old West? Time travel!? It was completely Loco! Sure, Le Paradox had done some time in his youth, but he'd been squeaky clean ever since, and INTERPOL had never considered him a suspect. There were rumors about the source of his wealth, but nothing had ever been proven. Now I knew I'd solve that mystery, and of course, Cooper and his little friends were involved somehow. Why was I not surprised? [Toothpick laughs] The fleabag tried to feed me some story about having to rob the museum to save the future. I was done listening to that liar! I needed to get back to Paris, but that toad, Toothpick, had stolen Murray's van and Bentley's time machine along with it! I finally cracked the case and now I was stuck in this lousy dustbowl with the Cooper Gang. I don't know what made me angrier, not being able to bust the lowlife skunk or being trapped here with that lying ringtail. [sigh] The only bearable thing about this whole mess was that at least Cooper's ancestor was a gentleman.

Bentley: Alright, thanks to the bug in Toothpick's office, we have a pretty clear idea of what's going on. Toothpick plans on moving the stolen gold out of the mine using his special train. Unfortunately, that train is now also being turbo-charged by our van, and need I mention that we're stranded in time unless we recover it? Well, anyway it's useless to go after the train in the mine. Toothpick will have stepped up security since our escape, and the place will be crawling with (spiders and) guards. We're going to have to hit that train while it's rolling, but first, we're going to have to catch it, and we'll do that by diverting its route. After surveying the rail system, I determined there are 3 key track switches we will need to throw, and Toothpick has entrusted the keys to three of his toughest henchmen - "Wildman" Weezner, Frenchie LeStache and Red Eye Robles. Furthermore, these guys keep the keys around at all times. The good news is that during the Toothpick Appreciation Festival, there are a number of contests, and all of them will be competing. Murray, I took the liberty of entering you in the Bare Knuckle Brawl contest. "Wildman" is the defending champ, and he's sure to have the key on his person. Sly, I hope you're feeling fast because you're going to be competing in the crookedest race in the West - the Toothpick 500. Frenchie happens to be the defending champ, so it's a sure bet it's his time that you'll have to beat. Carmelita, you'll be up against Red Eye in the shooting contest. As the defending champ, he keeps the trophy close by, with the third key inside. Now lets get going. We don't have any time to waste.

Announcer: Yee haw! Now that's some fine shootin' right there! Well that's it folks. Looks like this year's champeen is gonna be… Wait! Wait, hold everything. We got ourselves a latecomer. Let's see what this pretty little lady has got.

Red Eye Robles: Well what have we here? Little lady, I know you can't be here to shoot, cause there ain't even no man around these parts can stand up to me.

Carmelita: I see what you mean. I can barely stand you myself. But if you're scared of losing, I understand.

Red Eye: [laughs] Well, I just won the competition so you're too late. But I'll tell you what, I'll make you a deal. You just go right ahead, sweet thing. If you can beat my score, you get this here trophy… but if you lose, you gotta give me a kiss. Whaddya say?

Carmelita: Ugh. This guy's breath smells like fermented gym socks.

Bentley: Carmelita, we don't have a choice!

Carmelita: [to Robles] Alright. I'll take your wager. But you better get ready to hand over that trophy!

Robles: And you better get ready for some serious lip wrestlin'. [laughs, then coughs]

[After beating Robles' score]

Robles: What the-? This ain't happenin'! It's like some kinda magic trick! [Carmelita grabs the trophy from him]

Carmelita: The only thing disappearing is your trophy, Red Eye.

Bentley: Way to go, Carmelita! Now grab that key.

Bentley: Okay, eyes front everyone. The clock is ticking on this one, so we don't have time to monkey here around. Toothpick's gold train is already rolling, and with the incorporation of our van, it's virtually impossible to stop. Thankfully, Tennessee was able to divert the train's route, which gives us the chance we need to catch it. First, Murray, you're going to get the van back. It's positioned near the rear of the train acting not unlike a booster rocket. It's going to take your considerable fighting skills just to reach it. The catch is, that it's been secured with a set of special magnetic locks, which can only be broken by someone of your own imense strength. Once the van is free, you'll be able to catch the train and pick each of us up as we complete our tasks. Carmelita, you and I will tackle the next set of cars, I need you to use your peerless marksmanship and cover me while we make our way forward. It won't be easy. The train is crawling with guards, and they'll be gunning for both of us. Our goal is to reach a computer terminal near the middle of the train where I'm going to do a little hacking. As we already know, Toothpick cannot stand high-pitched frequencies, particularly whistles. So I'll reroute the power control of the steam whistles on the train engine. Something tells me this will come in handy when we finally reach him. Sly and Tennessee, you're up next. To ensure we stop Toothpick, we'll need to cover all possible escape routes. So, Sly, you'll take the roof of the train. Tennessee, you'll move through the cars where we should be able to reclaim your gold along the way, but your gunslinging will definitely be put to the test. You both should reach the engine around the same time where you can take Toothpick down. The rest of us will catch up with you in the van. One last thing, don't forget we're a team, and that's the only way we're going to be able to pull this off. Everyone needs to execute their part of the plan perfectly if we're going to get the van, steal the gold, and stop Toothpick. Now let's move out!

Tennessee "Kid" Cooper: [to Toothpick] Why don't you bring your little runt self down here and take your whupin' like a man, sheriff?

Toothpick: [turns around to see Tennessee] Oooh, blast you, Tennessee "Kid" Cooper! Imma gonna you lock in the deepest, darkest hole, and I is going to throw away the key!

Tennessee "Kid" Cooper: Give it up, Toothpick! The fat lady has sung and you are done!

Toothpick: Oh, am I?

[Two rat goons grab Tennessee by his arms as Toothpick curls up into a ball. He rolls on the floor and hits Tennessee, knocking out his gun in the process]

Tennessee "Kid" Cooper: My gun! NO!

Toothpick: [laughs] Thanks, Kid! Le Paradox sends his regards! Adios, idiot!

Sly Cooper: Relax, pal. I'll take care of this.

Bentley: Sly, we got a real problem!

Sly Cooper: I think I just took care of that, Bentley!

Bentley: No, Sly, the train! It's headed for a broken bridge!

Sly Cooper: I'm guessing that wasn't part the plan?

Bentley: Sly, you have to get off that train! Jump to the van!

[Sly jumps to the van and holds onto the roof]

Bentley: Murray, hit the brakes!

Murray: [tries to use the brakes, but they seem to be broken or disabled] They're not working! And I can't shut down the rockets!

Carmelita Fox: What?! You idiots! You call this a plan? Ugh! I knew this was a bad idea. I knew I should have had you send me back to Paris! Ugh! I can't believe it's going to end like this!

Tennessee "Kid" Cooper: What in tarnation are they doin'? And I was just wonderin' where that gold had got to.

Sly Cooper: Bentley?!

Bentley: Sorry, Murray! This has to work!

Murray: Hey, that's my necklace!

Bentley: Here goes nothing!

[Sly, Bentley, Murray and Carmelita scream as they fall down the ravine]

Sly [narrating]: As the van hurtled into the ravine, it felt like we were in slow motion. The thought that our adventures were over flashed through my mind as we braced for the crash. Then in desperation, Bentley grabbed the closest thing at hand, Murray's Australian fossil necklace, and used it in the time machine. He saved our lives! But now we had no idea where we were headed. We held on as the van was sucked through the wormhole, tumbling around like a cork in the ocean. Who knew where we'd land… and more importantly... WHEN?

Clan of the Cave Raccoon

Sly [narrating]: Things weren't going very well. We'd landed somewhere from the looks of it. Prehistoric. I was slightly concerned when Bentley broke out the dinosaur repellent, but that was the least of my worries. The crash landing had damaged the van so the time machine wasn't working properly. Not only was traveling back to Paris impossible, but we couldn't even raise Dimitri on the transceiver. [Bentley gets electrocuted] Also, we still had no idea how Le Paradox had manage to develop his own time machine and that was a scary thought. Carmelita was still really hot about things. I just wanted a chance to explain, to tell her how sorry I was for getting her mixed up in all of this. Before we had a chance to talk, she stormed off in a rage. I tried going after her, but... I figured that wasn't the best idea. Our conversation would have to wait, at least until she holsters that pistol. We decided the first order of business was to figure out where and when we were… and then, how we're going to repair the van. Otherwise, we'd have to get used to living in a cave, permanently.

Bentley: Bad news just got worse, Sly. Looks like a couple of pieces of the time drive broke off of that crash landing. I need you to track down the missing components A.S.A.P. Fortunately, the advanced trajectoral management processor is still functional, so I was able to calculate their most likely positions. Unfortunately, they seem to have landed in some dangerous terrain. The temporal sprocket appears to have fallen close to some pterodactyl nests and I'm afraid one of these prehistoric penguins... might've gotten it's flippers on the Gravity Encabulator. Oh, they may look cute, but those little devils are nasty. This isn't going to be a simple pickup, Sly. Get some photos of their precise locations and I'll analyze them to formulate a plan, but watch your back. I don't think we're the first guests at this party. See the structure on that mountain? It appears to be some kind of conveyor belt system. Definitely not Ice Age technology. Get a picture of that machinery too. I smell a rat or possibly something even worse.

Sly: Bentley, uh, have you heard anything from Carmelita?

Bentley: Sorry, Sly. I think maybe she just needs to cool off. For what it's worth, I'm just as worried about Penelope.

Sly: I know, pal, and we're gonna get her back. I promise .

[Sly sneaks through the arena. He then sees a large raccoon being caught in the net by a bunch of guards.]

Sly: Wow, I'm glad I'm not that poor guy. What's weird is that he looks kinda familiar...

Bentley: Wait... holy missing links! Sly, that's a prehistoric raccoon! I wonder if he could be...?

Sly: My ancestor?

Bentley: It's a distinct possibility. Let's help him out! Sly, I have an idea, but you need to get that Sabertooth tiger skin! Just don't let the guards see you!

Sly: I'm on it, Bentley. One tiger skin, comin' up.

Bentley: The guards on those pedestals are the ones restraining him, Sly. Take them out and he should be free.

Sly: Looks easy enough.

Bentley: Be careful, Sly. If you're caught you'll never get him out of there. This is the perfect situation for your Cyclone Pounce.

Bentley: Sly, this is amazing! I've run comparison tests. Facial features, fur length, tail volume. And according to them all, that cave raccoon is definitely your ancestor! I believe you found the very first Cooper!

Sly: I'm not sure I see the resemblance, but I'll take your word for it, Bentley. Hey big guy! What do you say we get out of here?

Caveman Cooper: [frees himself and takes out the guards] Thanks. I was hoping someone would show up, but do I know you?

Sly: Well, no. We've never met, but a reliable source tells me we're distantly related. I'm not sure what to say, um, it-it's truly amazing to meet you. Uh, what's your name? Uh, my name's Sly. Sly Cooper. What's yours?

Caveman: I am called... [gibberish]

Sly: Right… How about I just call you "Bob"?

"Bob": Sure, whatever. Now can we get out of here before more guards show up?

Bentley: He's right, Sly. You two should get out of there before more guards show up.

Sly: C'mon. Follow.

Bob: Um, no. This way.

Sly: Okay. I guess we'll do it your way.

Sly [narrating]: We got Bob safely back to the hideout, where everyone took an immediate liking to him… and he took an immediate interest in our gadgets. While he was busy, Bentley provided the background on his former captor. The guy's name was Grizz, and he had made his fame in the art world. Once a common street thug, he'd been thrust into the limelight when he was plucked from the gutter and made famous by a prominent pop artist. Grizz's primitive artwork was hailed as a brilliant new style called "paleo-graffiti", and for a while, he enjoyed his celebrity status. His fame was short-lived, however, when people realized his art was really just... bad. Resentful, he returned to his criminal roots, quickly becoming the top art thief on INTERPOL's Most Wanted list. One of Carmelita's main targets, it was now clear how he managed to evade her capture for so long. After we pried Bob away from Bentley's tools, he explained how Grizz had appeared and started harvesting all the pterodactyl eggs in the area, eliminating his role as food provider for the tribe and greatest egg thief ever. Depressed, he'd gone into a slump… and gotten out of shape… which allowed Grizz to capture him and take the new "tool" he'd invented to steal eggs. [Grizz laughs] So, it looked like the very first Cooper cane had been stolen as well... Great. We may have rescued Bob from the arena, but we still needed to find out what sort of operation Grizz was running for Le Paradox and why it involved stealing all the eggs. We also needed Bob's help to find the rest of the van parts and that meant we had to get him back into climbing shape... fast.

Bentley: Okay, Murray. We need... Bob's... help to recover the lost components, but he's in terrible condition. It's up to you to get him back into climbing shape!

"The Murray": No problem, Bentley. "The Murray" knows what it takes to be a champion! [to Bob] Alright, listen up. Playtime is over! Your job is to get back in shape... and my job is to make that happen! To do that, The Murray is taking your training to the next level! Look around, we'll be using your standard training exercises - Slippery Slope, Penguin Popper, Sumo Slap, Duck and Cover, Super Sling, and Whack-a-Chump.

Bob: Standard exercises?

Murray: Okay, so maybe they're not your standard exercises, but they are Murray approved, so let's get started!

Bentley: Okay, Murray, this is the place. My readings show the Temporal Sprocket is somewhere in that cliff area. You'll need to climb that rock wall to reach it, but first it looks like you're gonna have to clear out that crowd of guards.

"The Murray": No problem. I'll use the beat down I'm about to give those chumps for a warm up. Then I'll get your doohicky back.

Bentley: Murray, I realized you volunteered for this one, but are you sure you're ready for that climb?

Murray: Come on, Bentley! "The Murray" was born ready!

Bentley: Uh, Murray...? This doesn't look like it's working.

Murray: Just give me a mintue, I've almost got it.

Bentley: Murray, I'm sure you could do it, but we just don't have the time! We need to move fast here! I'm going with Plan B.

Murray: Wait, Yo-you don't mean…

Bentley: Yeah. I'm callin' in Bob.

Murray: Great. "The Murray" just got benched.

Bentley: Relax, Murray, climbing's his specialty. Besides, you should be proud. You were the one that trained him. Why don't you come back to the hideout and have a snack?

Murray: I'm not hungry. [to himself] Whoa! So this is what it feels like.

Bentley: [to Bob] OK, big guy. Try putting on that Binocucom. [Bob puts the Binocucom next to his ears] Uh, your eyes… Put it on over your eyes.

Bob: This is amazing. I can see everything, but how did you get head inside?

Bentley: Yes, that thing will help you see great distances… and I'm not really inside, but I don't have time to explain. My readings show the Sprocket is close. It's somewhere above your position.

Bob: Did this thing move everything closer?

Bentley: Um, no. Sorry you're not any closer. We call that a "zoom" lens. Just keep climbing.

Bentley: Well, that's not entirely surprising.

Bob: That is one huge bird.

Bentley: Actually, that is one huge "reptile", but more importantly, it looks like we need to reach those higher nests now.

Bob: No problem, I can do it!

Bentley: I was hoping you'd say that. [spots the Sprocket] There's the Sprocket, Bob! That mama pterodactyl must have broken free, but she's sticking around because all these babies are still captive!

Bob: We should do something to help them.

Bentley: Don't worry. We will help them, but first, we have to get that Sprocket back.

Bob: That shouldn't be a problem.

Bentley: You sound just like Sly. Be careful you don't wake her or those babies up! I don't think she'll be very happy to see you.

Bentley: I knew it! Those little tuxedo terrors are the real pests!

Murray: Uh, they're just penguins, Bentley.

Bentley: Oh, sure. That's what you say now… but you just wait. It looks like they've torn my gravity encabulator apart. You're going to have to track down each piece to reassemble it.

Murray: I don't see what you're complaining about. I'm the one who's just a penguin herder now.

Bentley: Murray, are you still upset about the climbing thing? C'mon, it just worked out better that way. Everybody has their strengths and weaknesses, myself included. And trust me, we can't do anything without your might. That's why we're a team!

Murray: I guess. Well, it looks like I've got some birds to round up.

[after getting all the penguins]

Bentley: You did it, Murray!

Murray: Big deal. So I make birds barf.

Bentley: Yeah, but you're the best I've ever seen.

Murray: Really? Gee, thanks, Bentley. Hey, you know what? I'm think I'm getting hungry.

Bentley: Great. The sooner you get those pieces back here, the sooner you eat.

Bentley: Data systems, check. Dart ammo, check. Tire pressure, check.

Sly: Bentley, how many equipment checks are you going to do?

Bentley: Just being prepared, Sly. A field operative can never be too careful.

Sly: Or watch too many spy movies apparently.

Bentley: They're good reference! Those ice caves are a textbook example of a villain's hidden operation.

Sly: Relax pal. It's simple. Use the thermovision to find Grizz, tag him with a homing dart and let him lead us to his lair. Avoiding any lethal obstacles or bloodthirsty guards along the way, of course.

Bentley: Right. Simple. I'll see you back at the hideout.

Grizz: Gr-gr-gr-gr-gr-gr-gri-gri-Grizz!
The Grizz gotta put some art on ice!
Gonna dig it up later for a big fat price!
Le Paradox is a stinky dude, and I'm gettin' real sick of his attitude.

Bentley: It looks like Grizz is planting fake cave paintings. He's working a prehistoric art scam!

Sly: I get it. He buries them here, then goes back to the present…

Bentley: ...Digs them up, and sells them for a fortune!

Sly: What a con! Hurry up and tag him before he gets away again.

Bentley: Right. Just to be safe, I'm going to use multiple darts. 3 should do the trick.

Sly: Bentley, you need to make sure those darts stick to him. Aim for that rip in his pants!

Bentley: Okay, Sly, this one's pretty simple - tail Grizz until you can get the code to his fortress. We need to get in there if we're going to stop him. You shouldn't have any trouble finding him since he's tagged with the homing darts. Just follow the signal.

Sly: We probably didn't even need the darts. He's kinda hard to miss.

Bentley: Okay, he's on the move, Sly. Stay close, so I can pull the data we need off his phone, and don't underestimate him. He's no lightweight!

Grizz: [over the phone] What?! Fool, you tryin' to run some some game on the Grizz?! I'm tired of you telling me to walk the line straight when you walkin' it all crooked! Yeah, that's right! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! No, no, no! That ain't the deal we had! Nuh-uh! No, I got you the cane and that big old hairy dude-maid! Now you need to hook me up! Hook! Me! Up! Yeah! H-hold on, hold on, I'm losing signal. Hold-- I said I'm losing signal! I said-- Hold on! I can't-- Hold on! [hangs up]

Sly: You catch that, Bentley?

Bentley: Yeah, sounds like he's talking to Le Paradox, and there's trouble. Don't lose him.

Grizz: [over the phone] You there? Good! Now, listen up. The eggs are running out here, but I need to keep my paint production going, so I need you to find me the resources. What? I don't know! Y'know, like uh... chickens, turkey, ostriches, parrot, frog... How would I know?! Just make it happen, man! What-- Aw, man! Hold on, I-- I gotta find some reception. I gotta find some... Hold on! Man! Aw, hold on. [hangs up]

Sly: Bentley, why don't we have a phone like that to talk to Dimitri?

Bentley: You really want Dimitri calling you?

Sly: Good point. Forget I asked.

Grizz: [over the phone] What's that? Come on now! I scratched your stinky stripy little back, now you scratch mine! Not only that, I got those other crazy Cooper folks messing with my business now! So, I gotta deal with that, and I don't see you giving me any help. No help! No! Yeah... Yeah, I'll take care of it. Huh? Uh, hold on! It's the reception, man! I can't here you! No, you can here me, I can't here you! You choppy! You're choppy! I-- Forget it, man. [hangs up]

Bentley: Sounds like his deal with Le Paradox isn't going so well.

Sly: Poor guy. I feel so sorry for him.

Bentley: [sarcastically] Yeah, I'm crying over here. Just stay close. I'm still trying to access his code data.

Grizz: [over the phone] Don't gimme that! We had a deal! Since day one, I did my part! I did my part! Look, I need those eggs, and I need'em yesterday! Don't leave me hangin' 'cause I will come find you! Oh! Oh, you think I'm scared of you?! The only thing scary about you is the smell! Ye- Hello? Hello? Stupid phone! [hangs up]

Sly: I'm finding this all pretty entertaining.

Bentley: Yeah, it gives us an advantage if Grizz is off his game.

Grizz: [over the phone] Now let me tell you how it is! I am an artist, I got paintin's to create, and I ain't puttin' up with anymore of your excuses! Now, you get me the eggs I need for my paint, or I'll climb through this phone and squeeze 'em ouuta you myself! You got that player?! Hello? Hello? Why you did that? Dang! [smashes the phone]

Bentley: No, I was so close!

Sly: I guess that means you didn't get the code?

Bentley: It does. Looks like we're back to square one.

Carmelita: I guess the bear got away, huh?

Sly: Carmelita! It's... good to see you!

Carmelita: Uh-huh. I'm only talking to you because I have some information for Bentley. I've been tailing Grizz on my own, and I acquired the security codes and full schematics for his mountain base.

Sly: Wow. Thanks!

Carmelita: You're welcome. So you'll get it to Bentley for me?

Sly: Of course. I'm headed back to the hideout now, but (since you got the code,) wouldn't you rather hand it to him yourself?

Carmelita: Maybe I should. After all, you're not exactly trustworthy, are you?

Sly: Ouch. So... we're... good… right?

Carmelita: Don't push your luck, ringtail.

Carmelita [narrating]: I caught up with the ringtail to give him the intel I gathered on Grizz. Half of me still wanted to slap the smirk off his face, but the other half wanted to talk. Working on my own these past few days have given me time to think and I'd realized some things. Sly may have been lying to me the whole time in Paris, but I'd lied to myself as well. In my heart, I knew something was up, but I didn't want to admit it. I wanted to believe he'd changed. That maybe, I changed him. But Sly was who he was, and I had to accept that. Although this crazy time traveling business has given me a new perspective on that too. In the past, I always chased Sly, arriving on the scene after the fact. But now that I fought alongside him... with Bentley, Murray and (most of) his ancestors, I had to admit a newfound respect. We aren't really so different. We both fight for justice, we just do it on opposite sides of the law. The question is, can I live with that? Honestly, I don't know. But for now, perhaps it's enough that I see things more clearly and that we have a common enemy in Le Paradox. 'Cause I am not going anywhere until I put that stinking weasel behind bars!

Bentley: All right. The time has come to deal with Grizz. This guy is a menace to the time continuum, not to mention the arts. And it's time to shut him and his counterfeit cave painting production down. It appears he's already beefed up security, so he's probably expecting us, but thanks to Carmelita, we have complete schematics of his mountain base. So once we get inside, I'll be able to target the egg vats and make sure they're scrambled. Just a little... egg humor. [chuckle] Next, Bob, you'll need to climb the main generator tower and pry the pressure valves open to completely disrupt power. That should start a fatal chain reaction in the system. Murray, at this point, you'll have to get to the master control panel and make sure no one can reset the system before the damage is done. Of course, you'll need to use your pugilistic skills on any guards that might get in your way. After this, the system will be completely disabled and we can do a little bear hunting. Sly, it'll be your job to take down Grizz when we find him. Well, that's the plan. You should all be clear on what needs to be done. So let's get out there and put this bear on ice.

Bentley: Okay. This is out ticket inside. Carmelita, you'll be riding with Murray. Sly. you're with Bob and myself.

Sly: Carmelita, are you sure you'll be alright?

Carmelita: Of course. Why wouldn't I be?

Sly: Well, I wouldn't want you to catch cold or something, sitting in that other car.

Carmelita: Don't worry, Ringtail. I have my shock pistol to keep me warm. (Besides, Murray has my back.)

Bentley: There's the tower, Bob! You'll need to find the valve covers and pry them loose to disrupt the power output.

Bob: That looks like a dangerous climb.

Bentley: Yes, it is a dangerous climb, but if anyone can do it, you can.

Bob: Thanks, Bentley! (You're right.) See you at the top!

Bentley: Right. See you at the top. Good luck.

Bob: Uh oh!

Murray: "The Murray" leaves no man behind!

Bentley: Murray!

Murray: [falls out and lands in another lift] Aw crud!

Sly: Murray, you alright?

Murray: Yeah, I'm fine! Don't worry about me. I'll find you guys after I figure out how to get off this crazy thing.

Bentley: Sly, we've got another problem.

Sly: Okay… (What's wrong?)

Bentley: We needed Murray to cover that control panel, but (we got separate from him and now) he's gone! If that guard resets the system, not only will this mission be a failure, but we'll be sitting ducks!

Carmelita: Not bad. A little sloppy though, don't you think?

Sly: Hey. That was almost a compliment. I'll take it.

[Bob looks at Carmelita and Sly awkwardly.]

Bentley: Way to hustle, Sly.

Sly: Thanks. Now let's go find Murray.

Murray: Man! I knew I shoulda made that left turn!

Grizz: Ha ha! It's gonna be nice, like sugar and spice when I put that Cooper gang on ice.

Murray: Grizz? No way I'm letting this chump get away! Bombs away! [lands in front of The Grizz] The Murray's gotta beef with you, punk!

Bob: Uh, oh!

Carmelita: Murray! We have to help him!

Bentley: Wait a sec, guys. Murray can handle this.

Carmelita: What?

Sly: Yeah. It's okay. Bentley's right! My money's on the hippo.

The Grizz: Oh, snap! What have we here? It's a pink nightmare!

The Murray: Trust me, Pal. You ain't dreaming

Grizz: I'm tired of you Cooper chumps, Le Paradox, everybody! All I ever really wanted to do is skate. That's right?!

Murray: Uh, okay…

Grizz: No, no, no, no, no! It ain't okay! You know why The Grizz loves skating? It's clean, Man. It's like, just me and the ice. No complications, no hassles, no worries. Ever since I was a little kid, a little cub, it's the only time I truly feel free… and now, you Cooper punks roll in and you're gonna spoil my dream? Well, it ain't goin' down like that! You better check the script, Fat Man, 'cause The Grizz is about to show you how to skate. [snaps his medal in 2 and puts it on his feet for makeshift ice skates, and he and Murray battle]

Bentley: Nice moves, Murray.

Carmelita: You were great!

Sly: That performance was definitely a "10" pal.

Bob: Yes. You are a true warrior, Murray.

Murray: Thanks, guys. I guess this makes up for all my screws ups lately.

Bentley: Murray, we all make mistakes. It happens, but it doesn't matter because we're a team and we all have each others backs. That's why we're unbeatable.

Sly: Yeah! What he said! Today, you were the hero, Murray, and don't you forget it.

Murray: Aw shucks. Hey, I'm starved! Anybody bring anything to eat? French fries, pizza, anything? An apple even?

Sly [narrating]: Carmelita had cooled off... a bit, but she hadn't forgiven me yet, and I couldn't blame her. The last thing she wanted to do was join up with a bunch of thieves. Something that went against everything she stood for. I could tell it was a tough decision, but in the end, she knew it was probably her only shot at busting Le Paradox. Dimitri was happy to finally hear from us... as he'd been worried "his bros were warping their faces off"... whatever that meant. He pointed us to our next destination - Medieval England, and as it turned out, Grizz's crown was the perfect object to get us there, so although we'd only uncovered this Ice Age Scheme by accident, luck was definitely on our side, and we left in a confident mood. Ready to tackle whatever fate had in store for us.

Of Mice and Mechs

Sly [narrating]: We've come to merry old England to locate my ancestor - Sir Galleth Cooper, a gallant knight who founded the Cooper Order. Unfortunately, what we found was anything but regal. Sir Galleth had been reduced to performing in a local circus as a jester complete with ridiculous costume. The villainous stench of Le Paradox hung over the entire area. We didn't know what was going on yet, but we knew it wasn't good. To make matters worse, we still had no information about Penelope. Bentley wasn't letting it show, but I knew deep down, he was pretty worried. Hopefully, we would find some answers soon… but first, we had to go to the circus.

Bentley: First off, Sly, you'll need a more appropriate outfit to infiltrate the circus… but in order to do that, I'm going to need some raw materials. The trick is going to be finding some quality wood, leather and metal.

Sly: Sure. Anything else you want me to pick up while I'm out? Eggs, milk... maybe some wax for your shell?

Bentley: Just get going, Sly.

Guards:

#1: Your bearings are grinding again. Sounds like you need some oil.

#2: Tell me about it. I had to take the kids to the beach last weekend.

#1: Man, I hate sand.

#2: Oh, yeah. It's the worst.

#1: I wish it was break-time. I really need a pint of fuel.

#2: Yeah, we should head over to the Tavern. I hear the new metal alloy in the mixers adds a nice tangy flavor.

Bentley: That's it! Head to the Tavern, Sly.

[Sly enters the Tavern.]

Bentley: Sly, my readings show the presence of a particularly durable metal alloy. That's what we want.

Sly: Man, this place smells like gas.

Bentley: That's probably the guards, Sly.

Sly: Not that kind of gas! I mean fuel.

Bentley: Well, stay away from any open flames and grab that sample!

Guards:

#1: You hear about Kraemer?

#2: No, what happened?

#1: Poor guy managed to get his rebigulator demagnetized.

#2: Oooh, man. That's gotta hurt!

#1: Yeah, I try to stay away from metal... That's not me, I mean.

#2: You should transfer to the Bakery. Nothing but wood and bread in there.

Bentley: Great, Sly! Head to the Bakery and grab some wood.

[Sly enters the Bakery]

Bentley: Something's funny. My instrument readings show this place is producing a lot more power than it needs for baking.

Sly: Maybe there's a secret doughnut facility?

Bentley: Maybe you should give the jokes a rest and see if you can find some wood?

Sly: Huh. Fine. See if I bring you back any doughnuts.

Guards

#1: You going to company picnic this year?

#2: I dunno. It's always the same thing. I'm tired of playing carnival games at the circus.

#1: Yeah, but remember the archery contest last year when Bryner somehow shot himself in the foot?

#2: [laughs] Oh man. Okay, that was worth it. I guess I'll go.

#1: Yeah, I was thinking I should wear some leather boots or something. In case of stray arrows, you know?

#2: Oooh, good idea! Maybe you could get some at the Shoemaker's?

Bentley: Sounds like it's time for a trip to the Shoemaker's.

[Sly enters the Shoemaker's]

Bentley: Okay, Sly, there's bound to be some leather in there. Find it.

Sly: Bentley, this doesn't look like any medieval cobbler's I've seen.

Bentley: Yeah, even women's shoe stores aren't this diabolical!

Sly: There's something fishy going on here.

Bentley: I agree. For now, just find the leather and get out of there!

Bentley: Alright. It seems that Galleth is being held somewhere inside those circus tents. Sly, it appears that there's a small opening at the top of that far tent. What I don't see is how you're going to get up there.

Sly: [sigh] The circus. I could've been the greatest trapeze artist.

Bentley: Uh-huh, sure. Anyway, the tent–

Sly: And with your shell, you'd be a natural for the guy they shoot out of the cannon every night.

Bentley: Right cannons. Look, you better go check out that tower! It's a good vantage point and we can assess the situation from there. Okay, Sly. Get up that tower and you can break out the new outfit and toy I made with those materials.

Sly: Oh! So there was a reason for that.

Bentley: Of course.

Sly: Wow. Somehow this place looks smaller from the outside.

Bentley: Sly, my scanner shows the ground in here is rigged with motion detectors… which means you'll need to stay off the floor. You wanted to be a trapeze artist? Here's your chance.

Sly: Cool. How's this sound for a stage name? The Amazing Cooperoni! Eh, eh, right? It's good.

Bentley: It sounds like bad Italian takeout. I'm betting that platform is where they're keeping Galleth. Go check it out.

Sly: All right, smart guy. On my way.

Sly: [finds Galleth sitting on a platform] Sir Galleth, my name is Sly. I've come to rescue you.

Sir Galleth Cooper: Greetings friend. But I require no rescue. I am merely... biding my time until the, eh… proper strategic moment. Yes, that.

Sly: So, how long have you been "biding your time"?

Sir Galleth: Well, I suppose it has been about a... fortnight…

Sly: Alright. If you wanna stay here (for the next 2 weeks) with the cannonballs and (the) flaming rings, that's fine. I'm heading back to my gang's hideout to plan our next move.

Galleth: You make a good point sir. Yes! I believe the time is now! Let us rush forward, that we may strike a crushing blow against the black tyrant who imprisoned me!

Sly: Whoa! One thing at a time! Let's just get back to the hideout first.

Sly [narrating]: Once Sir Galleth calmed down, we returned to the hideout and got the whole story. The surrounding area was held in the iron grip of a fearsome black knight. His origin was a mystery, but his power and technological might was impressive. He'd even created a new type of robotic guard which patrolled tirelessly and without mercy. Galleth had been captured when he tried to take on these guards single-handedly. Bentley searched every criminal database in existence, but couldn't find a thing. All we had were more questions - had Le Paradox somehow made an ally from this time period and how had this black knight managed to create those mechanical monsters? When we explained to Sir Galleth who we really were, I don't know if he believed us or not, but it didn't matter. He just started ranting about "taking the fight to the enemy and restoring the Cooper Honour". Needless to say, the guy was a little intense. Until we figure out what was going on, I can see we were gonna have to keep him on a short leash.

Bentley: Sly, it appears the Black Knight has a patrol moving an object in a locked case through the town. From the level of security, I bet the farm it's Galleth's cane.

Sly: You have a farm?

Bentley: Just get over there! If what Galleth says is true, the black knight almost never leaves his castle, and when he does, it's only to briefly visit the Blacksmith Shop. This may be the one opportunity we have to steal the cane back!

Sly: Okay, time to join the parade.

Bentley: Sly, before you make a move, get some pictures of the black knight and that case. We need to figure out who and what we're dealing with.

Bentley: Listen, Sir Galleth, those balloons above us are more than just decorations for the circus. The Black Knight can use them to monitor our movements and conversations.

Galleth: Pray tell, how can such a thing be possible?

Bentley: It's... complicated. Let's just say those balloons have machines that are like eyes and ears that can detect things at great distance, and you are the only one who can reach them.

Galleth: Say no more! I shall go forth to smash these airborne demons, lest they set their wicked gaze upon us! Find me a catapult, and a very large rock.

Bentley: Hold on a minute! First, you should find locations to use your Catapult Crash technique and reach those balloons safely, then you can destroy the machines.

Galleth: Eh... of course. As you will.

Galleth: As I told you, Bentley, a loathsome creature does indeed guard the castle.

Bentley: Well, if that's true, advanced geological theory would indicate that this "Moat Monster" can hide inside, is in that cavern.

Galleth: Forsooth. Perhaps also because it is the "only" cavern in the area?

Bentley: Errr, right. If this thing even exists at all, it all sounds like superstitious nonsense.

Galleth: You doubt the veracity of my tail? Then allow me to vanquish this evil beast and quell you disbelief!

Bentley: Whoa! Wait a sec, Galleth! Just navigating that cave's interior can be hazardous to your health!

Galleth: Nay, Bentley. Fear not! I will show you the true valor of the Cooper name!

Bentley: Alright! There's the cave entrance!

Galleth: Onward, to conquest!

Sly: Carmelita, what are you doing?

Carmelita: Relax, ringtail. Just keeping tabs on the dragon slayer.

Sly: I don't recall you watching my back on any jobs.

Carmelita: Only when I'm trying to catch you. But I find Galleth charming. He has a good heart, even if he is a headstrong goof.

Sly: Then you better get moving before Sir Goof gets himself captured again.

[after Carmelita defeats the Moat Monster

Galleth: [covered in oil] Alas and alack. I feel as though I have been ground into sausage.

Carmelita: Are you hurt, Sir Galleth?

Galleth: Methinks I am still whole. I thank you my lady, but must confess, rescued by a fair damsel wounds me deepest.

Carmelita: I think I understand. What do you say we make this out little secret?

Galleth: I would be thrice grateful and in your debt. What a fair and gracious maid you are, Carmelita.

Carmelita: I think I like the sound of that.

Bentley: Okay, listen up! We need to hit the Black Knight where it hurts! And that means taking down the operations he set up in the village shops! First up, Murray, you'll need to visit the Tavern! Sorry, big guy, no time for snacks. The Tavern has been converted into a fuel production facility for those robotic guards! Get in there and do what you do best: Tear the place apart! Next, Sly, you'll need to revisit the Shoemaker's. We're going to shut down the machines fabricating those ginormous parts! Last but certainly not least, Galleth, you'll need to infiltrate the Bakery. My instrument readings show it's the main power source for the other production facilities! You're the only one who can reach the second floor, where I believe you'll find a generator. There's no time to waste, so let's get going!

Bentley: Looks like the Black Knight is on the move, Sly! You need to stay on his tail until I can get there.

Sly: Alright. Hurry up slowpoke.

Bentley: Whatever! Just don't (get spotted or) lose him, Sly!

Black Knight: Huh. It looks like the production facilities in town are down. I'll have to look into that. I have a feeling Cooper has something to do with this. [a bit later] Ugh! Dealing with Cooper is giving me a headache! He makes me so mad! I need to squash him once and for all, then I can get things back on track. [a bit later] After I crush the Cooper gang, I'll put them all in the circus. Maybe even shrink that van of theirs down and turn it into a clown car. How fun. [a bit later] Huh? My balloon surveillance system is malfunctioning. It's probably those darn birds again. I need to invent a scarecrow... with a rocket launcher. [laughs]

Sly: Bentley, he's going into the Blacksmith Shop. Should I follow him inside?

Bentley: No. I'll take it from here, Sly. I should be able to get inside through that hatch on the roof. Time to get some answers. (Once I get that knight's ID, I'll see ya back at the hideout.) [enters the shop through a hatch on the roof and ends up in the rafters]

[Bentley starts eavesdropping on the Black Knight]

Black Knight: Decisions, decisions. Should I feed Cooper to the dragon or make him into a rug? Maybe I'll feed him to the dragon first, then make him into a rug with the leftovers. [laughs]

Bentley: No way I'm letting this guy get his hands on Sly. We have to stop him.

Black Knight: I really should add a refrigerator to this armor, or at least some kind of cooler for drinks. I get so thirsty walking in this thing.

Bentley: Hmm, a refrigerator? Not a bad idea. I wonder if I can fit one on this chair? (I gotta follow that knight first.)

Black Knight: Blasted Cooper gang! They may have shut down operations for the time being, but I'll have the last laugh! My castle is impenetrable. Once "Operation Overlord" is complete, I will be unstoppable!

Bentley: "Operation Overlord"? I don't like the sound of that.

Black Knight: These guards are so temperamental, always wandering off. Maybe I should invent a remote controlled guard. Eh, probably too much trouble.

Bentley: I definitely wouldn't want this guy for a boss even if I was a robot.

Black Knight: I need to upgrade the design of those guards soon. They're malfunctioning too often. Maybe I should give them wheels instead of legs.

Bentley: [laughs] Sounds like somebody's having design issues.

Black Knight: And where is that stinkin' Le Paradox when I need his help? He owes me everything for stealing Bentley's time machine plans! Bentley...? Oh, Penelope, what a little fool you were.

Bentley: Oh, no. My plans? That means... I caused all this? Penelope! Oh, please, Penelope, be all right! [angry] I swear on my mother's shell I will crush you myself, Black Knight!

Black Knight: Blast it! One of those guards leaked oil all over my clean floors! Why is it so hard to find good help? I need to invent a robotic maid.

Bentley: [laughs] Looks like someone's AI routines aren't up to snuff.

Black Knight: When this business with Cooper is over, I need to take a vacation. Someplace where I can get a fruit punch with a little umbrella. Somewhere tropical... with no robots.

Bentley: Vacation? I'm gonna make sure the only place this guy is going is straight to prison!

Black Knight: This blasted suit is so hot! I need some air!

[The Black Knight's chest opens and reveals himself to be... Penelope!?]

Penelope: Much better. I can barely think in that thing.

Bentley: It's not possible!

Penelope: Phew. That thing's almost as stuffy as Bentley.

Bentley: Penelope!? But why would she…?

Penelope: If only Bentley hadn't been brainwashed by Cooper's "honorable thief" nonsense, we could have made billions in weapon design! The two most brilliant minds on the planet working together? We could have owned the world! But no matter. Once Cooper's out of the way, he'll see things my way. Poor Bentley, he's kinda cute when he's being dumb.

Bentley: [Appalled by this reveal] Ahhh... I think I'm going to be sick. (And the guys won't believe this. Penelope, how could you…?)

Sly [narrating]: When Bentley returned to the hideout, he crawled into his shell and wouldn't come out. Nobody could blame him. Penelope may have betrayed our friendship and trust, but she (also) betrayed Bentley's heart. I knew he blamed himself for the whole predicament… but it wasn't his fault. Everyone took turns trying to coax him out, but nothing worked. In the end, it seemed that Bentley would have to come back to us on his own. Unfortunately, we couldn't wait around. We had a villain to take down... with or without Bentley's help, and this time, it was personal.

Sly: We need to take Penelope down, but how? Man, we need Bentley back.

Galleth: I am still a bit bewildered that the black knight was a friend of yours.

Sly: Yeah. Well, obviously she's no friend of ours now. (Not anymore in fact.)

Galleth: In the face of such treachery, there is but one option! We storm the castle and smash this villain!

Sly: Okay, slow down, Turbo. How do we get inside the castle?

Galleth: That? I know not. However, I do how we may create some exceedingly useful explosive devices. You and I must part ways. I will gather fire bulbs, while you must procure a bottle of Merlin's Magic Powder.

Sly: Of course, and where would I get this?

Galleth: Why, at the carnival, of course! I hope your archery skills are satisfactory.

Sly: Oh, I think I'm up to snuff.

Galleth: Then the die is cast! Fare thee well!

Carnie: Step right up, ladies and gents! Try your luck in our game of skill! [sees Sly] Well, hello, Guvnah! Wanna have a go? Do well enough and you could win yourself one genuine bottle of Merlin's Magic Powder - guaranteed to cure despair, curl your hair, and answer your prayer!

Sly: So, how is it for making bombs?

Carnie: Aye, gather some fire bulbs and it's bang-zoom combustion!

Carmelita: Alright troops. Listen up. As you all know, Bentley is still unavailable, but we've gotta come up with a plan. So I'm calling this meeting for him.

Sly: Hey, Carmelita–

Carmelita: Quiet, Ringtail! We don't have time for your smart remarks! We gotta hit Penelope before she can finish... whatever it is she's trying to finish.

Sly: Yeah, that's kind of what I was going to ask.

Carmelita: Look, it's pretty simple. We need to get into that castle. We've got the explosives...

Sly: I was going to bring that up too.

Carmelita: Not another word, Sly!

Galleth: Your speech does nothing to lift our spirits, Sly.

Carmelita: Galleth, do you think we can plant your explosives on the bridge controls?

Galleth: Zowns! This plan rings true!

Carmelita: Okay, everyone get ready to move out. After that bridge comes down, we'll have to get in there fast!

Sly: Sorry. I miss the part about what we do when we get inside?

Carmelita: We'll... have to improvise.

Sly: Sounds good to me. (Anytime you wanna denote the bridge, Murray.)

[Sly defeats Penelope, but his leg gets trapped under the giant knight mech]

Penelope: Do you have any idea what that suit was worth?! It was one of a kind! You've cost me too much already, Cooper! It's time to pay the fiddler. [she prepares to finish Sly off but is stopped by Bentley]

Bentley: That's enough, Penelope!

(Sly and) Penelope: Huh? [sees Bentley in a mech made from the Moat Monster parts]

Bentley: You heard me.

Penelope: Bentley, your suit. Is that (part of) my... my Moat Monster?

Bentley: Yeah, what's left of it anyway. The design was... adequate. I made some adjustments.

Penelope: Hmph! It was just a prototype anyway!

Bentley: Why'd you do it, Penelope? You owe me that much at least.

Penelope: Why? For you, of course! I had to make you see how things could be!

Bentley: I'm not going to be one of the bad guys (like you), Penelope!

Penelope: Ha! "Bad Guys"!? That's kinda funny, Bentley, seeing as how you work for a thief. [motions to the still trapped Sly] But you know the most valuable thing Sly ever stole? Your potential! Together we could change the world, but you're still chasing after honor for chump change. When are you gonna wake up?

Bentley: So (what are you saying,) you sold out to Le Paradox for the money?!

Penelope: (What?) [face palms] No, you're not listening! He's just a means to an end.

Bentley: Wow, and I thought you were smart. Do you really think he's going to let you go? He owns you now. [Penelope rolls her eyes.] You're his puppet… and when you've serve your purpose, he's going to cut your strings.

Penelope: I'm nobody's puppet! Too bad I can't say the same for you. I'm sorry, Bentley, but I guess it's time to make this breakup official!

Bentley: (Wait, what?!) Penelope, wait! We don't have to do it like this!

Penelope: Oh, I think we do. It's time to cut some strings... for good! [she and Bentley fight]

Sly: Thanks pal. Look, I'm sorry about Penelope.

Bentley: No, Sly, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you guys the whole time.

Sly: It's okay. She fooled us all pal.

Bentley: I guess. But that's no excuse for me not being there! I lost sight of my true friends. That won't happen again.

Murray: Uh, hey! Guys?

Carmelita: Uh, (if you two are done making up,) we could use some help over here!

Sly: Sounds like they need some help getting out of there. Know anyone that can swing that?

Bentley: Well, I do know this one, but he's probably busy, so I guess I'll have to do it.

Sly: [laughs] It's good to have you back, Bentley.

Sly [narrating]: We contacted Dimitri, who started in about sand storms and camel spit. Well, we finally deciphered enough to realize it was my ancestor, Salim al-Kupar, who was in trouble now, which meant we needed to get to Ancient Arabia on the double. This time, Carmelita provided a solution - before Le Paradox grabbed her back in the museum, she'd manage to pocket a gold coin as evidence. And our luck held as it turned out the antique gold piece was exactly what we needed. As we prepared to leave, everyone was keeping an eye on Bentley. He downplayed his heroics and refused to acknowledge that he'd saved us all. I sensed a new confidence in Bentley, which I guess had come from finally confronting his personal demons. We've been through so much, but when it really mattered, we bounce back stronger than ever. I was sure about 2 things - I couldn't be more proud of Bentley and we were gonna need every ounce of his newfound strength to take down Le Paradox.

40 Thieves

Sly [narrating]: We traveled to Ancient Arabia to find Salim al-Kupar, an ancestor said to possess the stealth of 40 thieves. No surprise then when Bentley's research revealed that this guy was a charter member of the infamous 40 thieves. For once, it appeared we'd have plenty of backup to help out with this job. When we arrived, however, we were shocked to find that most of the thieves had already retired. Having made their fortunes and gotten older, these great thieves have decided to call quits, and enjoyed their golden years in peace. What wasn't shocking was the unmistakable presence of Cyrille Le Paradox. Nasty-looking guards patrolled everywhere, and it was clear that something sinister was going on. After some detective work, Bentley had even worse news - no one had seen Salim al-Kupar for some time. He had been working with the few of the remaining thieves, but had simply vanished… So where was he? That was the first thing we needed to figure out.

Bentley: Okay, Sly. Word on the street is that Salim Al-Kupar was driven into hiding, but that he's still in the area. We need to figure out where he's hiding and then find out why. To facilitate that, I've built you a new toy.

Sly: Cool! Is it a robotic turtle butler?

Bentley: No, after gathering data from your ancestors, I've been able to map the Cooper DNA! I've modified your binocucom with a new visual guidance system that I've programmed to detect anything with which Salim Al-Kupar may have come in contact.

Sly: Wow, Bentley! That's some real science fiction!

Bentley: Okay, Sly. I'm culminating all the data, and it appears... Salim is on a boat?

Sly: Greetings. You're Salim Al-Kupar, aren't you?

Salim Al-Kupar: And who are you?

Sly: Uh, Well that part's kind of... complicated. I'm a thief like you, but I'm kinda new in town. How about you come back to my gang's Hideout and I can explain myself?

Al-Kupar: How about you... go lick a camel's hump?

Sly: Okay… Look, I know you're in trouble. I'm here to help. I can explain everything, but let's go where we can talk safely. Besides, you look hungry. How would you like some food?

Salim: Food? [chuckles] It was foolish of you not to mention that in the first place. Let's go.

Sly [narrating]: Back at the hideout, introductions went quickly as Salim stuffed his face. He told us about his problem. Some new player calling herself Miss Decibel had rolled into town and started throwing lots of money around. It didn't take a genius to figure out who the time traveling lieutenant was here. Salim and the 3 remaining thieves had decided to pull one last heist before disappearing into retirement, Ms. Decibel being the target. Of course, with her technology, she had easily captured his thief brothers and Salim had been trying to come up with a plan to free them ever since. Bentley uncovered some interesting background information - Ms. Decibel had come from a wealthy British family. Her true love was classical music. Unfortunately, her complete lack of musical talent, coupled with an extreme temper, made for a volatile combination. After suffering a freak accident during a tantrum, she was left unable to play music... normally. However, when she discovered she can control people with her hypnotic tones, a new criminal was born. [Decibel's eyes turn red] She began using her devious tones to control others, forcing them to commit crimes for her. We told Salim about Le Paradox, and the whole thing made some strange kind of sense to him. The bad news was he wasn't completely convinced that we were there to help him. I could see I was going to have to prove myself... again.

Bentley: Okay, apparently Salim lost a small fortune betting on the camels a while back and had to pawn his thief outfit. Sly, if we can buy that outfit back for Salim, I'm sure we can gain his trust. The shopkeeper is a security freak. A real headcase! His place is a fortress and he never leaves! All business is conducted through a slot in the door! I think this is one time we're going to have to play it straight and pay the man what he wants. As you might imagine, his price is pretty steep! The shopkeeper will only accept payment in the form of flawless gemstones. Three to be exact. The only gems of that quality around here, are the decorative stones embedded in the city walls. I've located the three largest specimens for you. All you have to do is remove them, avoid the guards and bring them to the shop. Just make sure those gems are still flawless when you get there.

[Sly brings the three flawless gems to the shop.]

Shopkeeper: What do you want?!

Sly: I'm here to buy the thief outfit.

Shopkeeper: Sorry! I do not believe one such as yourself could meet my price! Good day!

Sly: Oh, that's too bad. [yawns] I guess I'll just have to go bet these gems on the camel races.

Shopkeeper: Wait! You have gems? Let me see.

Sly: Man. These rocks are so heavy I can barely lift them. You want the gems? I want the outfit. Do we have a deal?

Shopkeeper: Indeed. If you want to purchase these old rags, who am I to object? All sales final, no returns! [laughs]

Bentley: Good job, Sly. Although it seems we have another problem - Salim tells me that Miss Decibel is constantly changing the locations of the captured thieves. Which makes them almost impossible to track. it's going to be… Hold on, Sly! I'm picking something up. Sweet sunspots! Sly, Le Paradox is here! He's meeting with Ms. Decibel right now! [Decibel giggles]

Sly: Sounds like the perfect opportunity for a little eavesdropping.

Bentley: Great idea! Just one thing, that outfit won't fool these guards. They know the locals and they'll peg you for a stranger immediately. You should just stay out of sight.

Sly: Thanks for the info, Bentley. I'm on my way.

Cyrille Le Paradox: So, please tell me the operation is going according to plan?

Miss Decibel: Of course. Everything is progressing splendidly. I have those raggedy little thieves completely under my control. I've never seen better forgeries. The documents they are producing are of the highest order.

Cyrille: Perfect. Once I get them back to the present day, and my royal lineage is "discovered", my wealth and power will be unstoppable.

Ms. Decibel: Well, there is one teensy little problem. We still need to feed our little worker bees, but our supplies are running low. The who calls himself "The Panther" seems to work best when I feed him, gugh, Scorpion Claws. Disgusting!

Le Paradox: Ah, very well. I shall have some delivered immediately. Whatever it takes to keep these vermin working. Oh, and one more thing - tell your guards if they don't capture Cooper, I will have them all fired and then executed.

Bentley: Sly, did you hear that? They're creating a false royal identity for Le Paradox in the present day! If that happens, he'll be close to untouchable! They also need a delivery. The Panther needs Scorpion Claws. Maybe we can make that work for us.

Le Paradox: Tell me, what do you think of this little sand pit?

Decibel: Well, this dry environment plays absolute havoc with my sinuses. My music practice has been atrocious lately. Would you like to hear–?

Le Paradox: Not really, but I want you to hear me. Do not fail me like those other idiots, Cheire. I'd hate to see you stranded here... permanently.

Decibel: Oh! I, uh, I'll make sure that never happens!

Le Paradox: Good. Because the others have failed me, even Penelope, and she was the smart one… but now I have to turn my back on her. You understand.

Decibel: Yes, of course! Everything will precisely as planned! Uh, although, I must trouble you for some Camel Cheese? Absolutely horrid stuff, but the thief called "The Tiger" seems to rely on it, and our reserves are almost depleted.

Le Paradox: Can't we just starve these filthy hoodlums into submission? Fine! I will send a delivery boy.

Bentley: More deliveries? Sly, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Camel Cheese? Eww!

Le Paradox: So, any more requests?

Decibel: No sweetums, I believe that's all. As soon as the documents are complete, I will deliver them personally.

Le Paradox: Magnifique! Then I should have them very soon.

Decibel: Wait! There is one last itty-bitty little thing – the one called "The Lion" seems to favor Cobra Tails, and you know how troublesome those are to obtain.

Le Paradox: Fine, you shall them, but I had better get those papers quickly.

Bentley: Boy I'd hate to be the guy that has to collect the Cobra Tails.

Bentley: Sly, I've got a crazy idea. That outfit may not work on the guards, but I bet outsiders like Le Paradox and Ms. Decibel wouldn't know the difference. She's expecting deliveries for the thieves, right? Try using the outfit to impersonate the delivery boy. If they buy it, we'll know where the thieves are being kept!

Sly: Excellent idea, Bentley, and just to ensure it's foolproof, I'm gonna use my…

Bentley: No, Sly! Don't say it!

Sly: Italian accent.

Bentley: I said "crazy", Sly, not "suicidal".

[Sly enters the tent wearing his thief outfit.]

Le Paradox: And who is this pipsqueak?

Decibel: Yes! Identify yourself immediately!

Sly [Italian accent]: It's me, the delivery boy. You-a called?

Decibel: Hmm. I don't recognize your scruffy features.

Sly [Italian accent]: The other boy's out sick. Something about snake bites.

Le Paradox: Is there something wrong with your voice?

Sly [Italian accent]: No. I've talked like this my whole life.

Decibel: How droll.

Le Paradox: I see. Well, if you're really the delivery person, then you would know the usual orders, no? What food does the Panther require?

Sly [Italian accent]: Why the Panther loves the Scorpion Claws.

Le Paradox: Hmm. He appears to be legitimate.

Decibel: Thank goodness. Here are the delivery locations. Hurry up, please!

Bentley: Sly, it's a good thing we're in Arabia. Because in Italy, that accent would be considered a felony. Now let's go rescue those thieves!

Bentley: Okay, Salim. We know that Ms. Decibel has "The Panther" locked up somewhere in that tower. Trying to go through the palace itself would be impossible. Luckily, this carpet shop is going to save us the trouble.

Salim: Ah yes. Honest Hassan's Carpets. He owns many, many shops. But, he is not so honest. Trust me. In fact, we used run a flying carpet scam, where he would pretend to be–

Bentley: Kind of pressed for time here!

Salim: Fine. Please continue.

Bentley: So, according to my diagrams, the shop is connected to the tower. There's a vent system on the side of the building. All you have to do is crawl through the vents and it will lead you straight to the shop. From there you can make your way through the shop's interior to the tower.

Salim: Hmm. You make it sound so easy. I would like to see you crawl through vents when you are my age.

Bentley: Talk to you inside the shop. Good luck!

Bentley: Wait, this room doesn't match my blueprints! It must have been renovated recently! Give me a minute to figure this out.

Salim: Oh, by Aladdin's beard! Do you not know that rule #37 in the thief's hand book is "expect the unexpected, foresee the unforeseen, predict the unpredictable."?

Bentley: Keep your turban on! My sonar readings show an old passageway through a cave system beneath the floor. Let's see... Mass of payload, angle of incidence, realtive humidity, divide by 2... Got it! Salim, if we can drop that pallet of carpets in the corner, it should smash a hole in the floor straight through to the caverns below!

Salim: "We"? it seems that I will be doing all the work.

Bentley: How about we just talk once you reach the passageway?

Salim: [on his way to the carpet pallet] Snakes! Why did it have to be snake?

Bentley: Alright Salim, you're in! Now you just have to make your way to the top of the tower.

Salim: Of course, climbing. My favorite.

Bentley: I don't see an access point, but that lever looks worth investigating, and be careful not to stir up the scorpion nests in here.

[Salim makes it to the top of the tower.]

Bentley: Your friend is in a kind of hypnotic trance. The strange sonic frequency modulations emitted by that device are causing it. I've seen this type of thing once before, on a mission in Prague, but this is on a whole new level - mind control by music! It's genius! Uh, well, evil genius.

Salim: Then all hope is lost.

Bentley: No, we just need to disable the device before freeing him, but we have to proceed carefully, or we risk turning his brain into jelly.

Salim: What is this "jelly"?

Bentley: Oh, uh… sort of like baba ghanoush or hummus, but fruity.

Salim: Ugh!

Bentley: Exactly. Just get me a closer look at that thing so I can turn it off.

[after Bentley disables the device by turning it off]

Salim: My brother, are you alright?

The Panther: Oh, my head. Where am I?

Salim: You have been imprisoned, hypnotized, and compelled to create forgeries for that evil elephant. But I have freed you from her mesmerizing music. With, you know, some assistance.

Panther: That's nice. I'm hungry. Did you bring me anything to eat? Perhaps some nice roasted scorpion tails? Maybe some camel milk?

Salim: Amazing. I climb halfway to the stars to rescue you, and you expect camel milk. Why do I bother?

Bentley: Alright, Salim. I've disabled the security system in the village, but Ms. Decibel has retreated to her private office above the library. We need to get in there, so we can plant a bug and find out what's going on. However, my schematics show the building is heavily secured, and it appears someone only with your climbing ability can gain access.

Salim: I do not understand. How will putting an insect in there tells us anything? At most it just annoy her!

Bentley: No, not that kind of bug! This is a small device that can transmit sound, so we can listen to her conversations.

Salim: Oh… Does it also bite?

Bentley: Look, don't worry about the bug! Right now, I need you to find a way into that study, so you can let me in. I'll take over from there.

Salim: Alright Bentley. I will find a way inside while you play with your bug.

[after Salim enters Decibel's office through the window]

Bentley: Okay, Salim. I need you to plant that bug in Ms. Decibel's office, but first we need to get her out of there. I've reprogrammed those transmitters she was using on your friends, with some new music. Once you placed them around the room and I activate them, she's gonna come running.

Salim: How do you know this?

Bentley: Because she happens to be a music snob, and I'm about to give her a dose of something she can't stand - good old rock and roll!

Salim: I do not care for rocks and rolling either.

Bentley: No, it... Never mind. Just get those transmitters in place.

Bentley: Alright. Now I just have to activate those transmitters and get this party started.

Decibel: My goodness! That awful screeching! It can't be... ROCK AND ROLL!? [screaming] Must destroy!

Bentley: Okay, Salim, shake a leg! Plant that bug!

Bentley: Okay! Thanks to our bug in Ms. Decibel's office, we now have all the information we need! It appears she has been producing counterfeit documents for Le Paradox, creating a false family history that will make him an esteemed member of royalty in the present day! I've manage to inspect some of the documentation. And believe me, if we allow him to get away with this, his wealth and power will make him untouchable! I believe he is planning this to be his last and greatest caper! The key to stopping him, begins with us getting through that security door in the lamp shop. I haven't been able to discover what's behind it, but we know that's where Decibel will deliver the papers to Le Paradox. However, since we don't to announce our presence, we need a diversion for the guards, s0o I've taken the liberty of fashioning an outfit for Carmelita, who will use it to lure the guards away from their posts by… uh, performing a belly dance.

Carmelita: (I'm sorry.) What?

Sly: Possibly your best plan ever, Bentley.

Bentley: I'm sorry I didn't ask, Carmelita, but you're the only who can pull this off.

Murray: Uh, Bentley, I-I can do it. [draws his mead]

Carmelita: I am not getting into that outfit. (I prefer Murray doing it.)

Bentley: I realize it's a bit revealing, but think of it as going undercover.

Carmelita: [annoyed] Bentley…!

Murray: I'm positive "the Murray" could squeeze into that thing. [adds his own hands]

Sly: Hey, Carmelita, you should model that outfit for us... to make sure it fits.

Carmelita: Shut up, Ringtial! I'm only doing this for the team.

Murray: Listen, silk is very elastic. (Alright, fine. It was worth a shot.)

Bentley: Alright, let's move out! We don't have any time to waste!

Bentley: Okay, Carmelita, we need you to distract those guards and get them away from that door.

Sly: Yeah. Bust a move Carmelita.

Carmelita: How about I bust your face, Cooper?

Bentley: We're counting on you, Carmelita. Meets us inside once you can lose the guards.

Carmelita: Bentley, you owe me big time for this one. [walks over to the mandrill guards] Hey you big apes! Yoo-hoo! Over here, you dumb knuckle draggers!

Salim: Sly, I am thinking I should go no further. I have passed my greatest wisdom onto you. The last of my friends are now retired, and I have had enough snakes and scorpions and climbing for three lifetimes. Besides, I was thinking someone should watch over Carmelita… to make sure she is safe.

Sly: Alright, Salim. We couldn't have made it this far without, but I think we can handle it from here. You've definitely earned your retirement. Go enjoy it… and the belly dancing.

Salim: Thank you. I will.

Murray: [grunting] Phew! Whoa!

Sly: You said it, pal.

Bentley: This is definitely... more than I was expecting. An underground docking station for Le Paradox's blimp! No wonder we haven't seen that thing flying around.

Sly: So, what's our next move, Bentley?

Bentley: Well, we first need something to distract those guards, so I can get to that control room! I whipped up a surprise for Ms. Decibel with the leftover material from Carmelita's outfit, but I think it might work better here.

Murray: Finally! Just point me in the direction of the changing room and- What the…?!

Le Paradox: Ah, the 3 musketeers! One step behind as usual. May you never change.

Sly: And may you always stay downwind.

Le Paradox: Ah Cooper. You're so pathetic. You don't even realize you've already lost!

Sly: We haven't lost yet, Le Paradox!

Le Paradox: Oh, no? Bonjour my large friend! What took you so long?

[They turn around and Ms. Decibel holding Salim.]

Bentley: Oh drat!

Sly: Salim! (Are you alright?)

Decibel: Hello, Cyrille. I found this filthy old scoundrel unconscious outside.

Le Paradox: Actually he's yesterday's trash. Precisely why I threw him away.

Decibel: But I don't understand. I though you were after him.

Le Paradox: You're right, you don't understand. I don't care about that old bag of bones, just his cane, which as you can see, I already have.

Murray: Uh, oh!

Bentley: Double drat!

Decibel: Well, good. Then our deal is complete. I'm coming aboard! Hold that blimp!

Le Paradox: So sorry, Cherie, but with monsieur Cooper here, I'm afraid the schedule has changed, and I must make my exit now. I cannot risk flea bitten rat ruining my plans.

Decibel: Wait! Cyrille, wait for me! [tosses Salim]

Murray: He's got the (last) cane!

Bentley: He's (also) got the documents! Sly, if they return to the present and Le Paradox establishes a royal ancestry for himself, all of our futures are in peril! You've got to stop them!

Sly: How's Salim?

Salim: I tried... to stop him.

Bentley: He'll be fine Sly! Right now, you've gotta stop that pachyderm!

Sly: I'm on it! Like stink on a skunk!

Le Paradox: Well it would seem this game is finished. How boring.

Decibel: Cyrille, open the hatch! Let me in!

Le Paradox: I don't think so. You see we have already reached maximum weight capacity. Perhaps due to my beautiful new guest?

Sly: Carmelita!

Carmelita: [grunts] Get your paws off me you noxious windbag!

Decibel: But we had a deal! I made you the documents, and you promised me the lost masterpieces!

Le Paradox: [mouthing Decibel] "I made you the documents, and you promised me the lost masterpieces!"

Decibel: Mozart, Beethoven, ROMANTIC NIGHTS ON THE RIVIERA!!! [shakes the blimp]

Le Paradox: Yes. Well, thank you so much for my papers, but it wouldn't have worked out between us. I'm just not into big noses, and as for your music... Hmm, how can I put this? It stinks worse than I do! [laughs]

Decibel: Why you filthy, backstabbing, two timing scoundrel!

Le Paradox: Ha ha! Flattery will get you nowhere. And as for you Cooper, don't even think about trying anything. Otherwise we're going to find out if your girlfriend can fly. I don't see any wings, do you?

Carmelita: Touch me again and I'll break both your arms! Sly!

Sly: Don't worry Carmelita! [to Le Paradox] This isn't over!

Le Paradox: Isn't it? In fact, I believe there is a perfect saying for this situation: the fat lady, she has sung! [laughs] Au revoir Sly Cooper! [sees Decbel] Ah well. C'est la vie.

Sly [narrating]: We may have stopped Miss Decibel, but it meant absolutely nothing. We were on the ropes. Le Paradox had beaten us every step of the way and he held all the cards - Carmelita, my ancestors' canes, and now his fake pedigree. I couldn't remember a time since we've teamed up that we felt so defeated, and talking to Dimitri didn't help. He was freaked out and yelling about having to "Boogie down in Skunktown", so as usual, his words made little sense, but the message was clear - we had to get back home fast. We may have been down, but we definitely weren't out. There was too much writing on this. The lives of everyone we care about, not to mention the very future of our existence. No matter how, we would make things right. So as we roared back through time to Paris, I knew... we were in for the fight of our lives.

Paris Epilogue: Deja Vu All Over Again!

Sly: [narrating] We've finally made it home to Paris, only to find a place we hardly recognized. It was obvious Le Paradox was in control since his face covered the city like a bad rash. The only positive was that Bentley was able to dig up a lot of dirt, including the fact that Le Paradox was from a family of thieves himself, and then we made a major discovery. I knew that my dad's heist of the World's Largest Diamond had made him a legendary thief, but what I never knew was that Le Paradox's father had planned to steal it first, and frame my dad for the crime! Only, he was a little too slow and got himself caught instead. With his father gone, Le Paradox had no one to teach him the family business, and after a string of failed jobs, he wound up in prison too. It was here ironically that he finally got his criminal education. After his release, Le Paradox maintained the appearance of a law abiding citizen. In reality, he used his prison contacts to form his own syndicate and began masterminding heists worldwide. These days, he traveled the globe as a billionaire art collector while his real business was the trafficking of priceless stolen treasures. Clearly, he blamed the Coopers for his family's past misfortunes and his plan was to wipe us out completely. I had to find a way to stop him, but first, I had to rescue Carmelita.

Bentley: Alright, we all know this is our last shot at stopping Le Paradox and rescuing Carmelita. Currently, his blimp is docked outside the museum. I can't pinpoint Carmelita's exact position, but I believe she's being held somewhere near the loading bay. Sly, there appears to be a utility hatch on the blimp's underside that will get you inside. You can use one of the mooring lines to reach it. Once you're in, try to gather as much information as you can, but remember, we'll be right behind you. So don't do anything rash. Murray, I need you to get the van ready. We're gonna need backup for this one. So first, you and I are going on a little recruiting trip, then we'll rendezvous with Sly inside the blimp and figure out our next move. Okay, I realize it's not the most elaborate plan, but it's the best we've got. So everybody watch your backs and let's go take that skunk down once and for all!

Sly: Okay, Bentley, I'm in. I can see Carmelita.

Bentley: Just hold on, Sly. We're almost there! You know it's a set up!

Sly: I know pal, but (set up or not,) I don't have a choice. Just get here as fast as you can! [runs over to Carmelita] Carmelita!

Carmelita: Sly, no! Aaahh!

Le Paradox: Ha ha! Two rats in one trap! I knew you could not resist, Cooper! You are so predictable.

Sly: Oh, yeah? Well, how's this for a prediction? I'm gonna kick that stripe right off your tail!

Le Paradox: Yes, yes. And now come the big threats from the little man. As I said, predictable.

Carmelita: Let us out! You afraid of a fair fight, coward?

Le Paradox': No, no, no. I don't think so. I have something special planned for you two. It is... how do you say? A going away party. [take the two with him]

[Meanwhile, Bentley and Murray arrive along with Sly's 5 ancestors]

Bentley: Okay listen up, you all know why you're here! We have to find your canes and get you back where you belong now! If we don't, we'll never be able to repair the damage Le Paradox has done!

Murray: What about Sly?

Bentley: He's on his own (with Carmelita) for now, Murray, but I'm sure he'll be fine. It's Sly. Rioichi, you're up first. My readings show your cane is somewhere in this room.

Rioichi: I can sense it too, Bentley-san.

Le Paradox [speaker]: Engineers, report to the bridge. It is time to calibrate the machine.

Bentley: If you want to fight, Rioichi, you'd better find your cane!

Bentley: No time for a break, guys! We have to keep moving! There's Bob's cane! Looks like this one is all you, Rioichi.

Bob: Thanks for the help!

Rioichi: It is my pleasure, my most hairy ancestor.

Le Paradox [speaker]: Can you hear me, turtle? You and your vermin friends are too late! [laughs]

Bentley: Okay, Le Paradox is gearing up for something! We need to hurry! Keep moving, Rioichi!

Rioichi: If the problem has a solution, then worrying is pointless. It will be solved. [gets Bob's cane]

Bentley: Great! Wait. Rioichi, I'm picking up an energy field shift... centered on you!

Rioichi: Yes. I sense it is my time to go. It has been an honor meeting all of you. Sayonara. [vanishes back to Japan]

Bentley: It's working! The temporal abnormality is correcting itself! Bob, we need you to get Salim's cane!

Bob: No problem! I'll get it as fast I can!

Bentley: Outstanding Bob! Looks like you're heading home now! Watch out for those penguins!

Bob: Goodbye, everyone! Take care my brothers! [vanishes back to the Ice Age]

Bentley: This is going well! But we're not out of the woods yet!

Le Paradox [speaker]: Le Paradox here. It's come to my attention that we have a pest infestation. Exterminate them immediately!

Bentley: We have to keep pushing! Salim, you're the only one who can reach Galleth's cane!

Galleth: Forsooth. I would entrust this to no other.

Salim: Again with the climbing?

Le Paradox [speaker]: Engineering, get me more power! I need to move up the schedule

Bentley: What are you up to Le Paradox? Salim, no time for napping! We need to step it up!

Salim: Oh, more climbing! How nice. [eventually gets Galleth's sword cane]

Bentley: Very nice, Salim! You've definitely earned your retirement!

Galleth: I salute your excellence, Sir Salim.

[Salim vanishes back to Arabia.]

Bentley: Alright! Now that we got Mr. Cranky Pants home safely, we need to press on! Galleth, we need your skills to get Tennessee's cane.

Galleth: Verily shall it be in thine command. Hence and forthwith.

Tennessee: Uh, you talk funnier than a 2-headed jackalope, but thanks, amigo.

Le Paradox [speaker]: Pathetic. Give up now while you still have some shred of dignity!

Carmelita [speaker]: You're going back to jail where you belong, Le Paradox!

Murray: That sounds bad, Bentley. You think it has anything to do with Sly?

Bentley: I don't know, but it doesn't sound good. We need to get to the bridge. Sir Galleth, time is definitely of the essence!

Galleth: Forsooth! Shall I venture forward!

Bentley: More fuses, Galleth! Take them out and the path should be clear!

Galleth: Fortune favors the bold. So boldly shall I attack!

Le Paradox [speaker]: Why are those thieves still on my airship? This is unacceptable! Have I mention this entire crew can be replaced?!

[Galleth gets Tennessee's cane gun.]

Bentley: Truly remarkable Galleth! This looks like farewell

Galleth: Indeed! Once more unto the breach go I! Fare thee well you all! (Including you, Sir Tennessee!) [vanishes back to England]

Bentley: (Watch out!) More vermin dead ahead!

Le Paradox [speaker]: Attention crew. You rats had better do your job! Failure is not an option!

Carmelita [speaker]: Your time is up, Le Paradox!

Le Paradox [speaker]: But I control time! For me, it is never up!

Bentley: We're getting close, guys! Those switches are completely out of our reach! Tennessee, this looks like a job for you!

Tennessee: Just what I was hopin' for Bentley! I've been itchin' to get in on the action too!

Bentley: [to Tennessee] Nice shooting! Now let's find Sly.

Le Paradox: Ah! Alone at last. How cozy.

Carmelita: You want cozy? I'm going to throw you and all your friends into the same prison cell!

Le Paradox: Ah, but no. It is the two of you of whom I am thinking, to be together... forever. Just think of it as the most romantic coffin ever. [laughs]

Sly: Don't count on it, Le Paradox! We've beaten all your other plans!

Le Paradox: Ah, but not this time, I think. Look at this, my marvelous contraption - The Time Tunnel. Something else I had your little friend Penelope develop before her unfortunate failure. It's very much like the time machine, no? With one important difference - from here, I have the control over where you go, and it's programed to send you and your Interpol shrew on an endless honeymoon. Free of charge! Bouncing through time for all eternity. That's if you survive the trip… but either way, I will never have to see your irritating faces again!

Carmelita: You think this thing can hold me? Just wait until I get out of here!

Sly: Why'd you do it, Le Paradox? Why the ancestors? Why not just come after me? What's the deal?!

Le Paradox: "The deal"!? The deal is you, Coopers! You destroyed my father and you almost got me, but not quite. And when I rebuilt myself, I swore I would erase the Cooper name from history completely! And so today, my revenge will be complete. It is time now for you to go. Bon voyage!

Carmelita: Sly…!?

[Tennessee shoots the glass, freeing them.]

Le Paradox: Cooper, you filthy vermin!

Tennessee: Hoo-wee! Cut that closer than a $10 shave. Reckon my time here is up. [vanishes back to the West]

Bentley: Take care Tennessee!

Le Paradox: [to Sly] I will crush you! [tries to get him, but accidentally brakes the Time Tunnel] No!

Sly: Take Carmelita and get off this thing!

Bentley: We all need to leave right now! That maniac just tore a hole in time space!

Sly: I need to finish this fight here and now for the whole Cooper clan. And I'm the only one who can glide out of here!

Bentley: This whole blimp could disappear any second!

Sly: Right, so there's no time to argue. Just go!

Carmelita: Sly… I…

Sly: I know. Me too. [goes to fight Cyrille while Carmelita and the gang escape]

[Sly Cooper and Cyrille Le Paradox fight.]

Le Paradox: Come, Cooper. I will teach you to fight like a gentleman.

Sly: And how would you know?

Le Paradox: Ha! I'm going to save that Cooper tongue for last... after I cut the rest of you to pieces!

Sly: Where is that little weasel?

Le Paradox: I know it's difficult, Cooper, but try to keep up!

Sly: This thing is coming apart at the seams!

Le Paradox: Don't fall, then I won't get the chance to kill you myself!

Sly: [catches up to Le Paradox] So, before we finish this, let me get one thing straight - you came after the Coopers because of what happened to your father?

Le Paradox: No, you imbecile! I came after the Coopers to prove that Le Paradox is the greatest thief who has ever lived! Is there any doubt? Ask yourself this - if the Coopers were truly the greatest thieves in history, and I have stolen their most valued possessions, then what does that make me?

Sly: Um, an idiot? You had it made. You could have been the biggest thief of all time, but you had to target my ancestors and blew your own cover. You exposed your operation because of your ego! No Cooper would have done that, and for the record, can you really say you stole the canes? Seems like your "friends" did all the real work.

Le Paradox: Enjoy your words, Cooper. Because they will be your last!

[after Sly defeats Cyrille]

Le Paradox: This is not right! My plan was perfect!

Sly: Sorry, pal! You just can't plan for a Cooper!

Le Paradox: Just please! Help me!

Sly: Why should I?

Le Paradox: I do not wish to die!

Sly: I guess you won't be doing any harm in a prison cell. [pulls Le Paradox up, but he steals Sly's backpack]

Le Paradox: As I said. "So predictable"!

Sly: You won't get away with this! I'll find you!

Le Paradox: Au contraire, Sly Cooper, I do not think we will meet again. [laughs and jumps off the blimp with Sly's Paraglider, but hits a jet plane and falls in the ocean]

Bentley: [narrating] It's been a while since that night, but there was still no sign of Sly or that cursed blimp. The skunk could barely tread water, so by the time they picked him up… he was happy to see them. Word is he earned a special cell in solitary confinement where the only thing he'll be collecting from now on is grey hair. Both Paris and the Thievius Raccoonus were back to normal… but that hardly made us feel any better. At first, we just waited assuming Sly would show up the way he always did, but as the days stretched into weeks, we had to face the fact that he was truly lost. We've stopped talking about it all the time, but I know it's all we're thinking about... even if we show it in different ways. Murray seems like his usual cheery self, but I can tell there's a new level of seriousness underneath it all. He's on the professional wrestling circuit now and he's really been pushing himself. I know he's doing it to keep his fighting skills sharp. Like all of us, he wants to be ready for action the minute we locate Sly. Carmelita returned to Interpol where she threw herself into her work, busting criminals at a record pace. She's been so busy, I haven't seen her for a while now. My sources tell me, she's conducting her own investigation into Sly's whereabouts. Out of everyone, I think she took his disappearance the hardest... even if she never shows it. At least, not in public. As for myself, I continue to search. Even using all my technology, I haven't found a clue. The time machine is no help since we need to know where Sly was for that to work. I get discouraged sometimes, but I'll never give up. Because I know Sly's still out there and I know that wherever he is, we will find him.

Ending

Bentley: [narrating]: [a photo of Rioichi making sushi in his restaurant] Rioichi Cooper continued to refine his master ninja techniques as well as his sushi, and while his thefts were never detected, his sushi restaurant was recognized as the finest in Japan. [a photo of El Jefe with a cigar in his hand] El Jefe remains behind bars. He was transferred to a South American prison where he now works rolling cigars. Unfortunately for him, there's no smoking allowed. [a photo of Tennessee grabbing bags of money] "Tennessee Kid" Cooper recovered his gold and his place in history as "The Greatest Outlaw of the Old West". His legend grew even bigger when he began stealing from crooked lawmen exclusively. [a photo of Toothpick working] Toothpick was arrested and became part of a chain gang working on the railroads. He eventually went deaf and faded into obscurity. [a photo of "Bob" with eggs] Caveman Cooper kept up his physical training and return to his role as egg thief extraordinaire. Perhaps most importantly, he pioneered the use of his cane as a tool for thieving. [a photo of Grizz rapping and painting] The Grizz received a lengthy prison sentence and began a new career as a rap artist. In his spare time, he paints portraits of his fellow inmates. [a photo of Galleth on stage] Sir Galleth Cooper return to his heroic adventures and went on to form the Knights of the Cooper Order, a gallant group that stole from corrupt nobility. He also became a successful, if overly dramatic, actor. [a photo of Penelope in jail] Penelope was sent to Europe's highest security prison... where she promptly escaped. She remains at large and the police have no clue as to her whereabouts. Recently however, I've been receiving some mysterious postcards. [a photo of Salim sleeping on a camel] Salim al-Kupar finally retired from thieving and took a long nap, then he dreamed of a lucrative new business. Parking his camel around town, he sold snacks to hungry customers. It was highly successful. [a photo of Ms. Decibel] After being locked up, Ms. Decibel decided to make some changes - she had the horn removed from her trunk, enrolled in anger-management classes and began teaching music to other prisoners. With continued good behavior she might get an early parole. [a photo of Dimitri in a swimsuit] Dimitri returned to his globe-trotting ways as a celebrity scuba diver, and even launched a new line of fashion wear. He's so successful, there's a new reality TV Show chronicling his adventures. It's called "Disco Diver". [a photo of Cyrille in his cell] Le Paradox had all his assets seized, including his art collection, and everything was donated to the city of Paris. I'm told his cell was modified to be completely Odor-Proof. I suppose that's (kinda) good for the guards since he's going to be living there... for a very long time.

Cast

Kevin Miller as Sly Cooper
Matt Olsen as Bentley
Chris Murphy as Murray
Grey DeLisle as Carmelita Fox, Blimp Computer Voice
Annette Toutonghi as Penelope, Black Knight
David Scully as Dimitri Lousteau
Steve Blum as Rioichi Cooper, Lizard Guard, Lion, Store Keeper
Brian George as Salim al-Kupar, Panther, Tiger
Yuri Lowenthal as Sir Galleth Cooper
Patrick Seitz as Bob Cooper, "Wildman" Weezner, Mech Wolf, Steer Guard, Mammoth Guard
Sam Riegel as "Tennessee Kid" Cooper
Nolan North as Cyrille Le Paradox, El Jefe, Announcer
Fred Tatasciore as Grizz, Owl Guard, Sabertooth Guard, Penguin
David Lodge as Toothpick, Boar Guard
Eliza Jane Schneider as Miss Decibel
Michael Gough as Crane Guard
Cam Clarke as Monkey Guard
Robin Atkins Downes as Coyote Guard
Jess Harnell as Baboon Guard, Carny
John Mariano as Jackalope
Lani Minella as Rat trooper, Porcupine Guard, Dodo Guard
Iona Morris as Cat guard, Hack Computer Voice

External links

Wikipedia

Wikipedia has an article about:

Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time